minor threats

i scream

Chill Factor

Starring Cuba Gooding Jr.

Showcase Cinemas—North Haven

Cost: More than a snow-cone Many was the afternoon when Biff and Jill would go down to the malt shoppe and take sips out of a Fat Man together. Then they'd polish off a Little Boy, drive out to Lover's Lane, and duck and cover. largest ball of twine

Hootenanny

Tangled up in Blue

Sun., Sept. 12, 9 p.m.

Free Lil' Timmy done fell in the well so Paw done gone to get him out and he done fell in and then Maw fell in goin' after Paw and then the revenooers come up the road by yonder and chop up our moonshinin' still and throw it in the well on top of Timmy, Maw, and Paw. Leasts I still got muh gee-tar. study of the townie

An Intro to Yale and New Haven

Tues., Sept. 14, 7:30 p.m.

Dwight Hall

Free Townie Studies 110a: How to sit in front of Willoughby's all day long. Prerequisite: Townie Studies 104b: The booty cam.

Recommended: Townie Studies 108a: Purple hair and tongue rings.

To be followed by: Townie Studies 120b: Scaring the bejeezus out of undergrads.

liquid hot smegma

Green Corps Intro meeting

Mon., Sept. 13, 5 p.m.

Jonathan Edwards courtyard

Free The earth is like our mother. And when you, like, pollute stuff, it's like you're crapping on your mother. And, you wouldn't crap on your mother, would you? Okay, so maybe you would. Okay, so you would. Well, go ahead. Just wait until your father gets home. ouija bored

James Randi

Investigator of the supernatural

Ezra Stiles Master's Tea

Fri., Sept. 10, 4 p.m.

Free "Hold! That's not a real ghost—it's a crude illusion fashioned from cheesecloth! And that's not a real spoon-bender—he's performing crude sleight of hand with cheesecloth! And that's not a real mummy—It's some guy wrapped in cheesecloth! Damn, I'm good."

—Burma Shave, Horatio Hornblower and Diet Magic? are just mad about saffron. And saffron's mad about them.

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