Allan Stam Talks Political Science

COURTESY OFFICE OF PUBLIC AFFAIRS Allan Stam-- the king of society and war

Yale Herald: How would you go about leading an American invasion into Canada?

Allan Stam: We don't need to invade Canada—we've already won. 90 percent of Canada lives within 50 miles of the United States anyway. You have to think of the U.S. as a cake and Canada as frosting. It's part of the cake, but there's no need for the cake to actually invade the frosting. The cherry is Alaska, sitting on top of the cake. There really isn't any country known as Canada anyway. They have dollars. We have dollars. They have better health care. Maybe they should invade us.

YH: If you could eliminate any U.S. state, which one would you get rid of?

AS: Let's not say "eliminate." That's too violent. Let's think of the process by which states become states. There are certain population requirements. We assume that the relationship between territory and state is a one-way street. It should be a two-way street. If a state has fewer representatives than senators, then it doesn't get to be a state. It goes back to being a territory. But Hawaii and Alaska are important buffers so we can't get rid of them. We'd have to get rid of the Dakotas. But they have the highest SAT scores. Getting rid of them would make the U.S. a lot dumber.

YH:What are the teams in World War III?

AS: U.S. and NATO are the blue team. The red team is China. The 50-yard line is Taiwan. But it's a lot more like lacrosse. China and the U.S. get ready for the face-off, and Taiwan's the ball. That doesn't mean we're going to have a World War III. But if we were to have one, that would be it.

YH: When will the U.S. no longer be a leading power, and who will take its place?

AS: Ah, the foil to Fukiyama's "end of history." If the U.S. disappears, then the nation-state will disappear. Taking its place is a global federal government. If the U.S. disappears, in all likelihood, the international nation-state system will be obsolete. It'll be like the Treaty of Westphalia Two. Except it won't be in Europe so it'd have to be the Treaty of Taiwan, which would prevent World War III. And the international headquarters would be in Taipei.

YH: Who's your all-time favorite military and political leader?

AS: Andrew Jackson. He's the guy who won the Battle of New Orleans in 1812, when the war was already over. The Treaty of Paris was signed and Jackson attacked the British. But he's the guy who made populism possible. He came to power as a political outsider, and moved us away from elitist Jeffersonian democracy to populism. All the elites in places like Harvard and Yale were aghast. But he turned out to be a great president. And he had a thing for duels.

YH: If someone made a movie about you, what would it be called?

AS: I don't know if you can figure that out for yourself. Writing an autobiography is the most narcisstic, self-indulgent thing a person can do. I guess it'd be a combination of Forrest Gump and some really bizarrely intellectual.

YH: What do you get out of political science?

AS: A Volkswagon GTI and a nice house. Politics are important every single day. Reading a newspaper is part of my job. That said, some of the things we talk about in political science are totally removed from reality. Where does this fit in? What will you have learned that you will retain? Not a lot. Think about it. Where can you talk about political science? Cocktail parties? No way.

YH: If Yale came up to you tomorrow and said that you couldn't be a professor anymore, what would you do?

AS: I'd open a restaurant. Or start a carpentry business. But, if I had to do it all over again, I'd be a mechanical engineer.

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