Don't crown George II yet

Whiskey and Rye
    By John Schochet

During last year's Commencement Speaker fiasco, one of my roommates suggested that the Class of 2001 start looking for its speaker right then. Who would our ideal speaker be? Why even ask such a silly question? It's obvious: George W. Bush, DC '68, who will be President of the United States by the time we graduate.

I must have missed the election—and that's a real shame, because I pride myself on always voting. To think that a Republican was elected President and I forgot to vote against him. Why didn't anyone tell me that the 2000 election took place in early 1999?

George W. Bush, fortunately, is not the first President to be erroneously "elected" more than a year before the actual election. Let's travel back to October, 1995. The Democratic President, Bill Clinton, LAW '73, is reeling from his horrible midterm election disaster. He's lost the health care debate, the public doesn't trust him, and his scandals are finally starting to pop onto the radar screen. Political commentators are sure that Clinton will be a one-term failure.

Let's go back further; it's now October of 1991. Although past the height of his post-Gulf War deification, President George Bush, DC '48, is still so popular that no top Democrat will even step up to the plate to hit against him. The Democratic field consists of Tom Harkin, an unknown senator from Iowa, Paul Tsongas, LAW '67, GRD '85, a former senator from Massachusetts, and Jerry Brown, the national joke who was once governor of California. Oh, and there's also this small-time southern governor. His name's something like Bill Clinton.

But Clinton's an anomaly, right? Only a guy with his charisma and charm could turn elections around like that. Then again, 12 years ago, Ronald Reagan was still nominally serving as President of the United States. The Republicans wished Reagan could run for a third term, but then someone might have discovered that he was actually stuffed and chemically preserved in 1975.

The Republicans wondered, who will replace the Great Communicator? It's obviously going to be the Vice Communicator, George Bush. Look at this guy—he's going to beat Saddam Hussein into a pulp from which he won't emerge for a few years, he'll have 90 percent approval ratings, and his son hasn't smoked crack for at least 13 years! Who would even consider running against him? In fact, King George I was assured of nothing—in the summer of 1988, Michael Dukakis was poised to become the first non-Northern European President of the United States, leading Bush by double digits mere months from November. Willie Horton, Boston Harbor, and the death penalty had yet to surface as relevant issues. Dukakis was winning the election in July, yet history falsely remembers him as a nice guy who never had a chance.

The moral of these stories is that, come November 2000, we'll be choosing between Bill Bradley and John McCain—or not. I don't know and neither do you. The election is over 13 months away. So before we start making "George II Rex" costumes for the Marine guards, let's take a break and see what happens during the course of the campaign.

Recent Herald Columns by this Columnist:
NOTE: SITE WILL APPEAR IN A NEW BROWSER WINDOW

• West-siders rock this soggy east coast, 9/17/99
• Creationists live in the Stone Age, 9/3/99

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