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Branford
Will the punks who stole the FUSCO stuff from the Swing Space please bring it back, along with the multiple spots Branford lost in the Tyng standings? That's right, the Swingers have hit a rough patch, and to make matters worse, the IM authorities decided that one of our golfers was ineligible—a decision that will cost the BFAers 42 Tyng points, 20 athletic scholarships, television revenue for the next five years, and the right to go to a bowl game anytime in the next decade. Fortunately, the IM Gestapo doesn't know about IM Secretary Justin Vaughn '02 trading IM shirts for sexual favors.Men's soccer has had difficulty finding enough warm bodies to field a team. Diehards such as Matt Chu"bacca" '03 and "Gosh d"Emmet Stokes '02 keep hope alive, but in our spanking by Morse, there was a long list of MIAs, including Ryan "Sings Christmas" Karels '00 and "The little" Randy "who cried" Wolfe '01. Fortunately, the Branford-JE women's soccer juggernaut has been rolling along, thanks to the tireless efforts of Captain Joanna Manders '01 and Erin "McGluttony, McPride, McGreed, McSloth, McLust, McEnvy and" McGrath '01.
Ping-pong has had success when stacked with ringers like Jen"eral" Lee '01, but has also been plagued by spotty participation, especially during Dawson's Creek hour. Men's and coed football have been a bright spot for Branford. With recent wins over both Davenport and Morse, the 'ballers are on a roll. Coed has been inspired by the dominating play of self-declared IM queen and sometimes topless model Rebecca "The Home-Wrecka'' Goodman '00, who passed up the NFL to bring her pass-rushing skills back to Branford. The men got into a feisty match with Morse, but sparked by the skills of Caleb "Mike Tyson bit off" Meier '03, the fellas pulled off a 20-13 overtime win.
In these trying times, the Swingers can look to Master Smith for guidance. And he's made his instructions clear: "Let's get it on."
(Compiled by a genie in a bottle...you've got to rub me the right way.)
All materials © 1999 The Yale Herald, Inc., and its staff.
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