Jonathan Edwards

Although she helped JE take major steps towards the elimination of the board and droughts of nice t-shirts the last two weeks, her omnipotence has not extended to the fields. To wit: since last writing, our coed football and tennis teams have floundered.

On a marginally brighter note, our men's football and soccer teams have defied the critics and naysayers to remain contumaciously alive. These two vivacious teams are sure to benefit from the deaths of their kin, putting the survivors to work carrying jerseys and cleats while they scorch their remaining opponents.

Now for the real gems: ping-pong and women's soccer. Both teams have benefited from a strong female presence, proving what some of us have known all along—JE women know how to handle balls. For stalkers, here are some prime specimens from the ping pong team: Yvonne Yang '00, Andrea Anushko '01, Giulia Musolino '00, Carolyn Nguyen '00, Orianne Dutka '02, Akane Fujiwara '02, Denise Wong '02, Ellen Goldstein '02, and Carissa Dizon '02. Their male counterparts aren't so bad either, or so we hear. And of course, Sarah Mac-gregor '02 and the gang (including Jocelyn Smith '02, who designed our new s-s-s-s-s-slammin' t-shirts) are still kicking ass at soccer. And who could forget Fola Poopola '02, who may or may not have played recently, and who we may or may not have met in a bar down in old Soho, but hey. Thank God for Trumbull. Did we mention that they suck?

(Compiled by that shifty-eyed dog...Dum-Dum-Dummmmmm.)

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