Questioning Coming Out Day

To the Editor:

Thom Cantey's bombastic editorial exhorting students to support queer life at Yale, "What gay acceptance truly means" [YH, 10/8/99], serves as a perfect example of just what is wrong with Coming Out Day. I would consider myself to be the antithesis of a homophobe, yet I didn't dress any differently or flutter pink fabric from my window last Monday either. Here's why.

Sexuality is an intensely personal matter, one that should be largely kept out of the public eye. To announce one's orientation of "gay" or "straight"—like one expresses a political affiliation—creates artificial confrontation in which I refuse to take part. To transform the sexual act into a symbolic struggle of freedom and oppression detracts from its true emotional and romantic meaning. I am uncomfortable with Yale's queer activists waving their preference in my face because it isn't my business. I don't care if you're gay or straight, Mr. Cantey. You're the same thing to me either way—a human being. Our identities oughtn't be entirely wrapped up in our sexual preferences.

Although I didn't take part in Coming Out Day, I had been hoping that those who did would do so with honest and good intentions. Unfortunately, Mr. Cantey's article has proven that he, at least, was merely acting from self-congratulatory pride. The polemical nature of Coming Out Day—one either wears the T-shirt and jeans or doesn't—makes it seem easy to draw the distinction between homophile vs. homophobe, and this is its inherent flaw. Cantey at least declares that "inactive students look like hateful students," yet then buys into his own argument, asserting that if one doesn't act, one is either hypocritical or hateful. The problem isn't with us, sir; it's with your approach, which paints those like me, who have other objections to the day, as gay-bashers. Self-congratulatory confrontation wins no real allies. Worse, it eliminates any possibility of rational discussion, since more subtle points of view get defined out of the debate.

Cantey presumptuously concludes that "my blue jeans and white shirt will allow me to look at you and know that you are an obvious traitor to the beliefs you supposedly hold." This blatantly offensive and buffoonish statement reveals beyond all doubt his own inner motivation: a need to feel superior. Well, Mr. Cantey, call me a homophobe all you want, but you'll be a damned liar. I invite you to step down from your soapbox and join the rest of us on the ground; that is, if queer integration is truly your goal.

—Christopher Fleitas, PC '03

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