Minor Threats

no-step program

World Series Game 1

Sat., Oct. 23, 7:30 p.m.

NBC

MT didn't bet on the New York Yankees. MT didn't bet on the Atlanta Braves. MT did bet on the New York Mets. MT did bet on the Boston Red Sox. MT had a "friend" named Vinny. MT didn't have $10,000. MT does have two broken legs.

dick joke goes here

Slick Willy Bash

Sat., Oct. 23, 9 p.m.

17 Edgewood Ave. (the former residence of Bill Clinton)

The following ice cream flavors will be served:
—vanilla
—rocky road
—chunky monkey
—impeach mint
—subpoenas 'n' cream
—busta nut
—pot-smoking, draft-dodging, intern-nailing raspberry swirl

make it funny, please!

Designers and illustrators wanted

for the Yale Record

Tues., Oct. 26, 9 p.m.

WLH 115

"Hello?!?" "Hey, I'm, um, from the Record—"

Door slams violently

"But...we combine the biting faux news wit of the Onion with the classicism of old Ivy humor...Oh, please come back. I don't want to spend another night masturbating to Monty Python reruns...Why does this happen every time?"

velvet ropes

Book Signing

`On Beauty and Being Just' and `Dreaming by the Book'

Elaine Scarry

Sat., Oct. 23, 3 p.m.

Yale Bookstore

MT went to Studio 54 once.Out of all the shivering, garish hordes huddled in front of the door, MT was picked out of the crowd to get in. It was 'cause MT looked so damn good in maroon leather.

Then MT woke up.

solitary confinement

Crazy Yalie Night

Weds., Oct. 27, 10 p.m.

El Amigo Felix

Cost: Free with fake ID

Crazy Yalie? More like nice Yalie. Pumped full of booze. Looking for love. Not finding it! Every damn time!!! Okay, maybe a little crazy.

—Burma Shave, Horatio Hornblower, Diet Magic?, and Malibu Skipper boom boom boom boom, want you in their room.

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