Don't forget your costume: Halloween is Yale's night

By Margaux Wexberg

SHAWN CHENG/YH

To parents, Halloween is little more than a potentially dangerous excuse for their children to degrade themselves and their baby teeth. For high school students, Halloween only complicates the already tumultuous coming of age process—we all must decide when to acknowledge the fact that the Snoopy costume just doesn't fit anymore.

And so, how in our right minds can we condone a holiday that yields countless cavities and widespread adolescent anxiety and, moreover, initiates the search by otherwise reasonable adults for the razor blade inside the bite-size Twix? The answer is simple: Yale.

Halloween is, hands-down, Yale's ideal holiday. On the most basic level, it is a reason to go out, regardless of circumstance. Sure, it may be Sunday night, but it's Halloween, damn it!

Then, of course, there is the opportunity be seen dressed like a freak. Clearly, this is one of our favorite social activities: consider the Exotic Erotic, the various Co-op dances, and the Safety Dance, to name a few. We already have the opportunity to be naked, half-naked, and '80's-chic (read: as naked as possible while still incorporating a tube top and Keds). Why not throw in a chance to legitimately dress as a prostitute, gigolo, or my favorite—a French maid?

But more importantly, Halloween provides for the large-scale and organized distribution of free alcohol. All it takes is an entryway key, and you're liquor-treating with the best of them. What better way to make the wide-eyed freshmen feel at home than by providing them with an event that harkens back to their trick-or-treating days. By the time they're alcoholic seniors, they'll never know what hit them.

And for another sector of the Yale community—the performing groups—Halloween offers a much-needed occasion to showcase some newly refined goofy choreography, stupid word games, homemade movies, or experimental dramatic techniques. As for publications, who among us does not long to avoid real issues in favor of a more frivolous approach to the newsworthy?

Halloween also speaks to a central truth of our collegiate existence: that food—particularly candy—is the single most powerful motivator at Yale. Never mind self-satisfaction, excellence, or a job well done. To win friends, influence people, and staff an entire organization, all one needs to offer is the promise of a little free food.

Perhaps most importantly, Halloween is the only occasion for upperclassmen—long done with freshman orientation—to visit the President's house, and, even better, to take stuff from the President, and thus from the Yale Corporation itself.

Have you been feeling like your lab equipment could be a little newer, or maybe the desks in your lecture hall could use a little less profanity scrolled across their faces? Or perhaps you would prefer a single, since you're a senior? Well, until that happens, you have but one recourse: go and take some candy from Yale. And take a lot of it. Yale students, this is your night.

Margaux Wexberg is a junior in Pierson.

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