Saybrook

When Saybrook scores over 500 points in the fall, be afraid. Be very afraid. Six of our 10 teams finished in the top three of their sports, and only one team was below .500, making this our best fall in recent memory. And, to top it all off, our IM study break was led by Alice "Adopt-a-Pizza" Miller '01.

Coed football won it all. We'll wear our shirts with pride and kick some Cantab caboose on the weekend of The Game. C'mon Yale, aren't you proud to have Say-brook representing you? Coed tennis came oh-so-close to the championship, with Captain Plattdawg '01 and Dominic "The Dominator" Matar '01 going to a 22-point tiebreak in the final match. Also helping out were reliable Stosh "After dinner" Mintek '03, Charlie "The Tuna" Enloe '03, and Alex "They may take our lives, but they'll never take our" Fridlyand '02.

The women of Saybrook tennis were astounding all season long. We grovel before you. In the final, undefeated Louise "Harley" Davis "on" '03 and Rachel Gruzen "for a bruisin" '00 won their singles matches, while Alice "The Hedgehog" Liu '01, Rebecca Swann"ton soup" '03, and "Kool" Katie Kinzler '03 led our doubles squads.

Cross-country was another Saybrook romp. What else is new? Our men finished in third behind overall winner "Well Endowed" Brian Vinci '02. Also coming up large and in charge were Kyle "U.S. Coast" Gardner '00, Robert (in Arnold's voice) "It's not a Twomey" '01, Mike "What's Black and" Wighton "Red all over?" '03, and Jon "It's not a bunion" Criss '01.

Our women did even better. Following behind their surprise leader Davis, Meredith "Cool" Whipple '03, Reilly "Thanksgiving" Dibner '02, Julia "Do you think Naples is" Kardon "tonight?" '02 and Jessie Rossman"atee" '03, we secured a solid second-place finish.

That's all well and good, but in the end, the details of Saybrook IMs are quite inconsequential. In the winter we will dominate, and in the spring we'll make meat helmets. It'll be breathtaking.

(Compiled by a relentlessly self-improving Belgian boulangerie owner with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.)

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