Smack Zone

Lichtig

After my Lions lost their first game last week, I vowed to stop betting on college football. Ha. You gotta dance with who brung ya. The Lions are still Sugar Bowl bound because Virginia Tech will fall to Miami ($1,000), and FSU will tumble against Maryland ($500). PSU will destroy Randell's Wolverines ($5,000), bringing glory back to State College. Never underestimate JoePa. He turned down the Yale job for a reason. And finally, Ronnie Dayne will take down the dreadlocked one, beating Ricky Williams' career rushing record ($1,000). Randell and Moran will go down hard this week. You'll see. Last Week: +$1,700. Current Balance: $17,251.

Moran

It's hockey week in Smack, which means that Lichtig isn't the only one who'll be taking 'em big, hairy, and Canadian. Randell thinks that hockey is "irrelevant," but, then again, she also thinks she'll dethrone me as Smack Queen. My Devils will overwhelm Atlanta and Washington ($1,500 each), as Holik and Lemieux twice find the back of the net ($200 each). Boston will skate over the Rangers ($800), Philly will freeze San Jose ($600), while on the homefront, the Elis send Vermont and Dartmouth to icy deaths ($1,000 each). To give football its due, the Elis will claw the Tigers ($1,000). Last Week: +$2,000. Current Balance: $24,552.

Randell

Like any crybaby, 'Tig almost swore off college ball after his precious Penn State got put in its place. Well, keep sobbing, 'Tig, because the pain ain't over yet. Michigan spoils the Lions' weekend by smacking them down ($2,000). Nebraska takes down K-State ($500), and Wisconsin rolls over Iowa ($1,500). Moron, didn't anyone tell you that pro hockey, like Princeton, doesn't matter? At least have the balls to admit this fact and limit yourself to college hockey, like that Yale will beat Vermont and Dartmouth ($600 each). The Game's coming up fast, but even then Moron will still know nothing about football ($20). Go Blue! Last Week: +$2,100. Current Balance: $21,501.

Evan Bialostozky, Guest

I'm back! The best prognosticator on campus has returned for the second straight semester to out-bet these lousy "sports" editors. I think I will just stick with what got me here—my specialty, football. My Skins' completely inept defense will manage to hold the Iggles' unbelievably inept offense to under 20 points ($300), winning the game ($1,000) and taking sole possession of first place in the NFC East ($300), as the Giants fall to the charging Colts ($300). Other winners include Buffalo ($100) and, believe it or not, San Fran ($100). Meanwhile, we Yalies will march down the Garden State Parkway and demolish those WASPs from New Jersey ($1,000). Now don't tell me it isn't true...Last Week: +$2,250. Current Balance: $5,549.99.

Evan Bialostozky, PC '02, won Pick the Pros this week. Try your luck at www.yaleherald.com/pickthepros.

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