Branford

So maybe you think you can sneak a few wins past our hoopsters? Wrong. Expect a strong showing from Branford men's basketball at all three levels. Hoops captain John "Big Torso Man" Foster-Keddie '00 is looking for big things from his squad. The intense play of Jake "The Snake" Fuller '00 should also help Branford contend for the title. B-hoops should be helped by the addition of Barry "cuda" Fine '00, who has spent the off-season transforming himself into a monster in the post. And the C-hoops season has been extended to 11 games, which means that we'll be bringing the pain to six more colleges this year. Women's hoops is looking promising as well. Though Branford graduated most of its height last year, the shifty play of guard Jasmine "Ka" Ma "Sutra" '00 should keep the Swingers in contention.

But the fun doesn't stop there. With returning studs such as Seth "I want some of your" Brown "sugar" '00 and "Funky Cold Me" Tina Odiaka '02, get ready for our squash teams to spank you like we're your step-dad. And don't expect hockey to be much easier. Vets such as Sarah Masters "of the Universe" '02 and newcomers like "Canada" Pete Walker '03 are already itching to skate circles around the opposition.

Of course, everybody knows that the real intramural action this season won't take place on the Yale campus. The few, the proud, the bowling team, will be taking its skillz to Whalley Ave. on Friday afternoons to wreak havoc in the center of all that is good and pure—Amity Lanes. This year we shall not be denied.

Well, Branfordians, the time has come to filter the lite beer from your veins and clear the bong resin from your lungs, because the winter season is just around the corner. Let's make it happen.

(Compiled by a Vengaboy.)

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