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Davenport
In an informal poll of the freshmen class in Davenport this year, we received a wide range of responses as to why our new crop of ex-varsity athletes is so exemplary. So that the others colleges will not feel that Davenport has an unfair advantage, we will now share the secrets of our talent. For the following reasons, there is only one college that will be "playing" intramurals this year. The rest will just be running around on the fields looking lost in the shadow of the giant that is D-port: "I'm 6'4", a recruited athlete for both track and field and football, and I'm an awesome ping-pong player." "I love sports and I'll try my best in them and even if I'm not great, I'll bring some team spirit, which always helps, right??!" "I've been doing 12 oz. curls all summer in preparation for a rigorous defense of `the gnome.'" "I will poison our rival's drinking water with large amounts of MSG."(Compiled by Davenport's athletic supporters.)
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