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Smack Zone
Chepiga
Fret not my babies, I'm back to kick the flows and dish the weekly dose of da bizness. Smoother than the Ladies' Man, more Powersful than Austin, I own these here parts. Please, SSS 114 couldn't hold the schoolin' I'm about to bust out on this campus. Get me a bigger room, Barry S., get me a bigger room! Yankees, Jets, and Giants win Sunday ($600 each). Unable to tend to his flock, Teddy writes a bad Eli ($15) and little miss Dolly Dolinsky, she moves to Vermont cause she can't stand the heat in my kitchen. Current Balance: $5,000Diskant
Smack is back, and like the freshmen girlies, exciting and new. No more easy bets (or lays) to plague the hottest page in town. And with the baseball season winding down, it's time for my Mets to start playing like the champs that they are; they'll sweep the Phils at Shea this weekend ($200 a game) while Arizona falls into complete oblivion in the wild card "race," dropping two of three to Marlins ($500). But the weekend will belong to another champ in another sport as Pete Sampras cruises to his record 14th career grand slam victory at the U.S. Open ($1,000). But the weekend won't be all fun and games: some hapless frosh learns why "Big Red" is a misnomer ($10). Current Balance: $5,000
Dolinsky
Now I know I'm new and inexperienced, but I know that this Mets-crazed
campus is heading for a heartbreak. After the Braves wipe out Montreal
and the Marlins in the next six games, (I'll start slow, even though
I'm confident:$100 each) just like they crushed Arizona's hopes
for the play-offs, they'll be ready to gracefully rip out New York's
guts. Continuing with the Southern Belle theme, (Delaware is just a hair
over the Mason-Dixon line, y'all) Florida will blow out GA Tech ($300)
to jump ahead of the Cornhuskers in the rankings. Current Balance:
$5,000
Aaron Lichtig, Guest
Let's propose a little dichotomy. New York, NY or State College, Penn.? State College—home of transcendent heroes Joe Paterno and Aaron Lichtig. New York—home of transvestite whoremoans Geoff Chepiga and Ted Diskant. New York—home of studs like Derek Jeter and Mike Piazza. State College—home of studs like Joe Paterno and Aaron Lichtig. New York— home of bad football teams. State College—home of worse football teams. This week, the Jets and Giants both lose ($500), and PSU finally gets off the schnide with a victory over La. Tech ($250). And I spend less money in two months in SC than I'd spend in 2 hours in NYC ($100 in NYC, 50 cents in SC). I'd also like to salute Anna for surving Delaware for all of these years. And I'll put $100 on Anna over her next foe in badminton. Current Balance: $5,000 Aaron Lichtig, JE '02, is Editor-in-Chief of the Herald
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