Davenport

Being the diligent IM secretaries that we are, we have endeavored to do some research into the history of D-port Intramurals. Turns out, the last time Davenport was this good at IMs, the Gnome had yet to be carved, Master T was still at Harvard, and the residents of the Cottage tried diligently to live up to the wholesome nature of their home's name. In the interim, there have been a few seasons that we would sweep under the common room rugs if they were still there. Well, the "building years" are behind us now. Let's talk soccer, football, and volleyball. Why? Because the other sports have all been rained out. But c'mon. How badass is our soccer team? We asked Captain Dave "Fake Accent" Auerbach '03 to comment. "It's all about the frosh," he whined. "They are so good I think I am losing my all-star status." No worries, Dave. To whom was he referring? Most likely, it was playmakers Jeff "Solid" Goldberg '04 and Jean-Paul "Better than the Pope" Christophe '04, key instruments in the dismantling of Saybrook. Undoubtedly, Dave also feels threatened by Jon "Real Accent" Sela '04, who has displaced Dave as the novelty highly skilled foreigner. Football isn't doing too shabbily itself. Well, Captain Sam "Meola" Hendel '03 is not completely satisfied. "The other teams are bigger, faster, and better organized than we are," he observed. "But we are much better looking." Sounds like a game plan, Sam. As long as you keep up the good work as keeper, we're not complaining. As for volleyball, well, frankly, all we know is that we are really good. Who are these mysterious players who continually propel us to victory? What guardian angels have deigned to grace us with their bumping and spiking skills? Tune in next time.

(Compiled by Davenport's trusty sidekicks, Tonto and the Boy Wonder)

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