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Morse
Morse College is kind of like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator: sure, we may not be the prettiest college, but make one wrong move and we'll kick the living piss out of you. After our runaway Tyng victory last year, the mighty Morsels are back out on the fields in force, making other colleges look silly and having fun doing it. As one teary-eyed Silliman IM secretary said after men's soccer beat them soundly on Monday, 2-1, "Playing against Morse is about as much fun as a kick in the crotch. I'm going home to cry myself to sleep."Men's soccer has dominated (again), going 3-0 so far with big wind over Davenport, Silliman, and Pierson. Tiberio "Yes, I'm that good at soccer" Frisoli '02 has been nearly unstoppable, scoring at will, while Colin "I'm Chinese, not Ja" Pan "ese" '01, David "Turn it" Ahn '03, and newcomer Brad Hathaway "To win" '04 have all played exceptionally well. The golf team did not place in the IM tournament, but it did finish first in the lesser-known "Colleges that actually didn't cheat and report fake scores" category, so hats off to Warner "My last name is the opposite of David Ahn's" Off '02, Matt "In" Vogel '02, Della "Don't make fun of my accent" Deme '04, and Ashley "Ready to" Gowan '04.
Both football teams turned in huge wins over Pierson on Wednesday, led by Diana Cies "and desist" Lak '04, Lindsay Ah "Honolu" Loo '04, Frank "Too tall" Walsh '04, Pat "Emi" Nemeroff '03, Dirk "Diggler" Van Den Bos '01, and John "Joey's better than me at MarioKart" Vandenburgh '04. Ariel "The" Dean "of women's soccer" '03 led the women's soccer squad to wins over Branford and JE. Look out, Yale: Morse is back like a bad case of herpes.
(Compiled by the Ax.)
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