Would you mind Penelope Cruz on top of you?

COURTESY FOX SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES Something tells me you are not so concerned with cooking, guapo.

Isabella (Cruz) needs to be "on top" of everything in her life. Whether refusing to let her husband drive the car, taking full control of the kitchen, or dominating her passionate love life, she needs to be in charge. When her husband Toninho (Murlio Beicio) can no longer deal with her dominance, he flees to the arms of another woman in a vain attempt to finally "be a man" (an amazing decision considering that any other man would be happy to get within 10 feet of Isabella, above or below her). When Isabella finds out about Toninho's infidelity, she leaves her hometown of Bahia, Brazil for San Francisco to stay with her drag queen friend Monica (Harold Perrineau Jr.) and start over. At this point, this movie has the makings of another "revenge of the wronged wife," but thankfully the plot shifts spare us from this overdone scenario.

Almost as soon as she steps on American soil, stardom awaits Isabella as she encounters a TV producer, Cliff (Mark Feuerstein), who begs her to do a cooking show. Using her extensive knowledge of cuisine and skimpy dresses, Isabella makes it big. Joining her on the show is Monica, despite network pleas to "lose the freak." While there seems to be material here to create some entertaining situations, very few genuinely funny moments come to fruition. Save one frightening moment with him/her dancing with Cliff in undergarments and telling him to "feel the beat," not enough comedy comes out of the character, wasting a great, refreshingly stereotype-free performance by Perrineau. And despite what this odd sequence seems to imply, Cliff is after Isabella, not Monica.

Yet, we have a hard time picturing Cliff with Isabella. He is a bit too goofy, and as one character exclaims, Isabella is "enough woman to kill a man." At the same time, it is strange how much screen time Toninho gets—normally in movies of this type, the bad husband tries desperately at first to get his wife to come home, but is thrown out of the way relatively quickly. This does not happen here. Toninho tries and tries again. I will not give away who Isabella ends up with, or the limited philosophical points the movie tries to make on what women really want, but let's just say only the most clueless of men will learn anything from the lessons this film offers.

Film

Woman On Top Directed by Fina Torres Starring: Penelope Cruz, Murilo Benicio, Mark Feuerstein York Square Cinema

Is this movie good enough to merit a trip to York Square? Probably. Mina Torres' interesting use of color provides an air of vitality that matches perfectly with Cruz. The music is always flying at top speed, and Cruz is captivating. On the other hand, the characters, although interesting, never develop much. The slimy TV executives are funny, but only get about 10 minutes of screen time. Cliff is nothing special, and the macho Toninho says more with his little swagger than with his limited dialogue. The underdevelopment of these characters is probably due to a lack of convincing dialogue. The movie also drags at the end as the excitement of many snappy fast-paced moments is slowed down. But don't sweat it—the movie heats up again with a somewhat unexpected ending.

Although Woman on Top is a mixed bag, expect director Fina Torres to surface again. She has a good feel for both movement and imagery, which will serve her well if she can ever find an adept screenwriter. As for Cruz, even if her big American screen debut isn't all it's cracked up to be, she seems poised for success in years to come; her upcoming performance in director Billy Bob Thornton's All The Pretty Horses will likely be a better showcase for her talents. By the way, if you came this far to find out if Penelope "takes it all off," better luck next movie. Maybe you can try the Internet—pervert.

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