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Davenport
Yes, last week we basked in the glory that was and is our football and soccer teams. This time around we thought it was time to give a shout out to our two remaining teams that were still undefeated at press time: volleyball and tennis (what about ping pong? Just wait. They'll get their turn). Nothing can capture the total domination that is our volleyball season as well as these words from the King of New Haven himself, Cap'n JP: "How could I have been so selfish? I stacked the Davenport volleyball team with the baddest mo-fos I could find. As a result, we haven't lost a single set. Ten and oh. Man, we could have at least given away a few more points. Maybe we could give some of our players to our playoff opponents. Who would you like? How about Adam "I don't even need to jump to block your pathetic hit" Litle '03 Jennifer "The Acrobat(t)" Dumlao '01, Michael "Volleybeast" Zimmer '01, or Aubrey "Where the hell did she come from?!" Smith '04? And yes, there is tennis. Last year we rested on the laurels of our dazzling demon from down under (Adam Drenzla, '02). This year he is AWOL on the roof of Alpha Delta Pizza and the team still hasn't lost. Not only have we not lost, in our last match we won each set by an average of seven games. Ouch. I am almost in pain for JE just remembering that. Who's carrying the weight this year? None other than Ex-captain Ewen "No, I win" Cameron '02, Mike "Playing so good we should all buy him" Beers '02, Sam "Too hot to" Hendel '03, Joanna "Venus-Schmenus" Lydgate, '03, and Amy "Not really left-handed" Coleman, '02. What more can we say? When was the last time you saw D-port this high in the Tyng rankings? If I were you, and I wasn't in D-port, I'd be looking for my brown pants right now 'cause I'd be scared sh-tless.(Compiled by the Guardians of the Gnome —clearly we have better things to do.)
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