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Berkeley
The state of Berkeley IMs is sort of like Old Yeller (at the end of the movie, that is). We're infected and need to be put down, but we're so damn cute it's hard to pull that trigger. Soccer (Men's and Women's) lost and tennis lost. Coed football is dead due to forfeiture and volleyball is dead due to getting their collective asses beat like an ugly stepchild. This isn't to say that we haven't been trying. Men's soccer Superstars include Cash "Bad Mother F***er" Warren '01, Darrell "Why am I so sexy?" Hartman '02 and Rob "The Tunnel Monster" Bernheim '02. Women's soccer has the always dependable Marissa "I swear I was at the IM game" Wagner '01 and Amy "I still don't look like that cheerleader, even with my hair this color" Michigan '02. Tennis had some strong game from Sid "It's evolution, baby!" Kumar '02 and Rob "Watch your ass on the court" Bernheim '02. Man, that guy is everywhere! Volleyball had a strong season, especially due to the work of Margo "I am the game!" Harrison '04, Regina "I want the ball!" Sieber '02, Gabriella "I know kickboxing" Salazar '03, despite their sad postseason loss. Howard "Just wait `til bowling season" Han and Jimmy "My Pikachu is amazing!" Chang '04. There are only three bright spots right now. (1) Men's Football is still alive and kicking under the leadership of James "We beat the hell out of Morse" Herron '03 and the excellent field work of Thad "Magic Hands" Novak '02 and Gary "IM Superstar" Thompson '03. (2) Cross-country had yet to start and when it does, Jessica Bulman '02, Jack Rubin '02 and Ethan Guillen '02 will have ample time to show the rest of the pack their finely toned behinds. (3) Trumbull still sucks and we've beaten them at least in almost every sport. Boo-ya.
(Compiled by Squirtle. Squirtle Squirtle!)
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