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Calhoun
To say there was turmoil in the ranks of Calhoun's coed football team would be an understatement. Having already fired its first captain for undisclosed off-the-field improprieties, Calhoun saw its second captain hobble through the team's first game with a broken toe. The Blue had already forfeited all but one game, which was a painful shutout loss at the hands of Saybrook. But something was in the air last Tues., Oct. 3, when Stiles brought its undefeated record to the IM fields to take on our heroes. For some reason, the players who had gone through turbulence on and off the field suddenly found peace and composure. And then they got mad. Mad at their losing record. Mad that their perfect season three years ago was almost forgotten. Mad that Berkeley and Silliman restricted their lunch service. Mad that an alarm now guards the library door. Mad that they didn't win the Gimbel Cup last year (oh wait, yes they did). And so, while Stiles was asking, "Why are you so mad?" Calhoun manhandled their inquiring opposition, 19-0, in the most stunning result of the fall IM season. Chizuruoke Chik-wendu '01 was so mad that he dominated the game from his pass-rushing spot on defense and ran for the game's first score. Mackenzie Blumer '03 was so mad that she caught passes and snapped with authority. Caleb Turner '03 was so mad that he picked off a pass and caught another for a touchdown. Aubrey Jennings '01 was so mad that she caught a long touchdown pass and high stepped into the end zone. Amanda Jenks '03 was so mad that she batted away Stiles passes left and right. And Dan Fleschner '01 was so mad that he kicked over a port-o-potty. (Boy, was he mad!) So if you should ever see any of these Calhoun titans, make sure not to ask them, "Why are you so mad?" Ya heard.
(Compiled by an IM Secretary who wonders, who are you for asking questions, because this is his fourth album and he's still living with his mom.)
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