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Smack Zone
Chepiga
Will the real Slim Teddy please stand up? Please stand up? Please stand up? Sing it you little Mets bitch, all you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you. Oh, and Dolly Dolinsky better switch chairs with me, so I can sit next to Lichtig and Wertime, hear 'em argue over who she'll be groping next time. Yale sticks it to Fordham ($400) as Bartholomew rushes for over 100 yards for the fifth week in a row ($200) and the Yankees ($500) and unfortunately, the Mets ($500) get to the Series. Where you at Slim Teddy? Um, we're gonna have a problem here... Last Week: +$1,500. Current Balance: $6,495.Diskant
Let's talk Anna's weekend. Let's talk big, sweaty, grunting men groping...I digress. This hottest action this weekend will be in New York where my Mets will prevail and return to the Series for the first time since '86 ($800). Meanwhile, the Yanks hold off the M's to successfully buy their way into their third consecutive Series appearance ($800). Meanwhile, the Bulldogs stay hot, destroying Fordham ($400) while the field hockey and soccer teams take two out of three from the Crimson ($400). And Dolinsky, once you're free, explain to the rest of the world what the hell Chepiga's talking about... Last Week: +$1,400. Current Balance: $6,300.
Dolinsky
Let's talk football. Let's talk big, sweaty, grunting men groping each other for a ball. Teddy, keep your hands out of your pants! Yale over Fordham ($700), Virginia Tech over Syracuse ($700). Chepiga is still not over his Mom and the wrong end of a baseball bat . Northwestern tears into Purdue ($400). College football is good ground for boy toys, but I need some real men—Chepiga and Diskant, sit down; bananas and Swedish pumps don't count. In the pros, the Eagles take down Arizona ($300). Turning to baseball, it's gonna be a subway series, lads ($600); Ted, you wish you had a piece of that bat. Last Week: +$1,300. Current Balance: $6,100.
Papa Lichtig, Guest
Time for amateurs to step aside and let an experienced (euphemism for old) sports picker give an Ivy League lesson. Philadelphia, the city of whiz kids, hits Arizona hard enough to crack the Liberty Bell ($2,000). Nobody is sleeping in Seattle this weekend. Mariners sweep the next three games—bye bye Yankees ($500). Where are you now Joltin' Joe? Holding up the other end of the great state of Pennsylvania, the Steelers defang the hapless Bengals, who will be flatter than a crushed Iron City can by game's end ($2,000). Yale will teach Fordham how to read a playbook ($1,200). Maybe Fordham ought to move across state lines to PA where they know how to field winning teams. Last Week: +$500. Current Balance: $7,245.Benson Lichtig, PSU '73, won Pick the Pros this week. To be Smack Guest, play Pick the Pros Back to Sports...
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