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Intramurals

Branford

The dining hall's open and you're not invited. So you want to eat with Branford? Meet us at the IM fields—and eat sh*t. (Try to transfer that.) Coed football continues to roll like a big ol' 1957 Eldorado Brougham Cadillac, running up a 3-0 record. Led by Maceo Montoya "you killed my father" '02, Adam Frank-"ly my dear, I don't give a damn" '02 and Joanna "Little Miss Lehigh" Manders '01, the squirrels have annihilated any and all challengers, outscoring opponents 136-12. Coed football - equal opportunity = men's football + James Fagan '02. The team has enjoyed similar success under the watchful eye of Dan "Ah, nah, big slim dog, 80-pound" Balzora '01 and Erik "Here's my number, baby, so" Calloway '02. Note to Trumbull: Yes, we do like to play razzle-dazzle football. If we wanted to play "regular" football we'd join the ranks of Jon-Pal Mouzakis Gagnum "P.I." '04 and Pete "Would you like to ride with Batman" Walker '03 and play soccer. Lest we forget the dynamic duo of Tony "How do girls pee?" Mend-oza '03 and Caleb "I wish I was an Oscar" Meier "weiner" '03. And, finally, props go to volleyball leader Jocelyn "Well, you know my name is" Simonson "and I like to do drawings" '01 and Branford's very own ping pong king Ben "Audience participation time: insert your own Herald nickname here!" Healy '04. May the other colleges make like Branford's dining tent and get the hell outta here.

(Compiled by an IM secretary's big sib.)


Davenport

And thus ended the fall season. Where this IM journey will leave us in the spring, I do not know, but for now, my sleep is deep and content in the knowledge that for the first time in my 2.3 years in Davenport, there are more than two teams lower than us in the standings at the end of a season. Truly, the credit for this miracle, as I think it can appropriately be called, rests with two parties: captains of the highest quality and a freshman class of a caliber heretofore unbeknownst to the walls of Vanderbilt. Make no mistake, there were key sophomores and juniors making the trek to the IM fields on a regular basis, but if I were to give an MVP award—a Davensporty of the fall—if you will, it must be awarded to the D-port class of 2004. Maybe it was their cool '04 shirts. Maybe it was the desire to get into TWID. Whatever it was, someone lit a fire under them and no one bothered to put it out all season.

And then, as I said, there were the captains. Let's start with Allyson "There is no height minimum for soccer" Brundige '02. True, her team forfeited the season and didn't win a game, but at least we have to give her credit for being a captain for something like the fifth IM season in a row, even in these dark times, when our ranking was in the double digits. Then there was JP Nogues '02. He writes for TWID, and can thus give himself as much credit as he wants, but it is probably worth noting that 1) his team has been in the finals two years in a row, and 2) he wants to be an astronaut. Xing Shen '01 and David "Not the Head of Dining Services" Davidson '02 were the silly-hat wearers for ping pong this year, and of course did not disappoint. Cross country had a comeback year as well this season, and with Dean Eileen "All-American" Hunt running for him, Jason "I'd rather run a marathon" Friedrichs '02 had no shortage of speed. Football 1) did not forfeit either season, and 2) managed to win some games. This is unprecedented in D-port history. Thank you, Sam Hendel '03. And, of course, what would we have done without Peter "I swear I'm a captain too" Shanley '03 and Dave "Quiet down, lackey" Auerbach '03 at the soccer helm? Answer: not as well.

And then there was winter.

(Compiled by two secretaries who probably should quit while they're ahead.)


Morse

Do you like losing? Do you crave degradation? Are you a masochist? Are utter humiliation and abject pain things that you enjoy? Then by all means, go out and play IMs for any college but Morse. And watch as we give you the bitch-slapping of a friggin' lifetime.

Our tennis team, close to recapturing the championship it claimed only three years ago, met Stiles, Morse's ugly stepsister, in the finals. Unfortunately for Morse, a certain senior who had promised to come backed out because of a midterm. Anyway, Morse forfeited a match and ended up losing by one match, despite the last-minute heroics of Deborah "Eddie" Bauer '01 and Joanna "I like chicken and" Busquets '03.

Women's soccer managed to stay alive, despite the fact that Stiles—which is supposed to form one half of the team—died because they never showed up, ever (man, Stiles sucks some serious ass, huh?). Ten—count 'em—Morse females showed up to defeat JE-Branford, led by frosh Kelly "20/20" Heintz"sight" '04, Catherine "Tiger" Pitt '04, and Lindsey Ah"I have to go to the" Loo '04. And let's please not forget Kaitlyn "Could I be any cuter, for God's sake?" Gumpper '03, who probably failed orgo while busting her (cute) butt for soccer, football, and tennis all term.

Ping-pong finished another strong season with but a single loss, thanks to our No. 1 players Shivan "Blinky" Mehta '01 and Shoshanna "Don't call me Shay-Shay" Woo '04. Women's cross-country narrowly missed qualifying for the finals, despite solid races by Van "Can anyone pronounce my last name?" Nguyen '03 and Nina Fletch-"was a good movie"-er '02.

Take heed, Yale College—Morse is armed, dangerous, and ready to rip all y'all a new asshole.

(Compiled by someone much, much cooler than you are.)


Silliman

God-Silla may have proved himself a cold-blooded beast during these last two weeks. Having finished the X-country prelim looking strong, God-Silla should have been unstoppable heading into the final. The cold weather, however, seemed to scare away some of the stalwart Silli-soldiers (well, midterms may have had something to do with it too). Despite the absences, however, Justin "cruising" Cohen '02 led the Silli-pack (including James "Rosey" Rosenblum '02, and Jason "Fatty" Rahal '03) to a solid finish. Fall has ended and with winter coming, the mammoth lizard is set to make a winter run. Indoors, with the heating and those bright fluorescent lights, what cold-blooded creature could not do well? Beware all ye colleges, for you can't hope to cage a monster forever.

(Compiled by a Silli-secretary.)


Timothy Dwight

Well, enough waxing poetic. We, as you, are tired of all this "the blood-red lion roars at midnight as your duodenum lies withered on the scarlet beaches" b.s. The fact is this: TD is back in a big way. We've got courage in our hearts, participation is surging, and Saybrook is in for a long, dark, and disappointing winter. Rather than delve into lengthy lists of our bold IM warriors and their tremendous efforts this fall, we're satisfied voicing our dissatisfaction. Clawing our way to the top, TD is going to be in your IM face for the rest of the year. Don't call it a comeback.

(Compiled by a secretary of few words.)


Trumbull

It is very hard to be good at everything—but the 'Bull comes pretty damn close. Gimbel, Tyng, Tang, Davies—we're consistently up there in all the cup competitions. Oh, and we just got an extra 500 smacks to party it up thanks to our stellar turnout at the Tercentennial in some kick-ass shirts. Who cares how many courtyards you have—there is no smiling in in"trum"urals, and our shirt wasn't neon yellow. That being said, midterms did deal us a bit of a blow in the Tyng standings, but we kicked your collective asses in Gimbel, so it was well worth it. Trumbull is currently honing its skills for the winter season through intra-squad competition of the finest kind. Last night saw some down-and-dirty action in the dining hall with the Rumble in Trumbull. Fine bulls battled one another to near death while our fellow classmates placed wagers and laughed. Last year it was sumo suits; this year...the weapon of your choice. The Rumble was followed by the Stumble...and let's just say that the Tang Cup is in the bag. A big shoutout to Rumble organizer and runner extraordinaire Ali "Its only a sprain" Skodol '01 for her superhuman cross-country feats. Shoutouts are also due to her fellow bullish runners: Pete "Are you supposed to sleep and hydrate before breaking into a dead sprint?" Heenan '02, Brad "I don't run for anything...but the 'Bull" Rosenberg '02, Chesa "Eat my dust" Boudin '03, Radhika "Badhika" Natarajan '02, and Bill "First is the worst, second is the best" Weeks '02. Finally, though the 'Bull may have taken a few hits in standings, our superiority and versatility remain unquestioned. After all, as long as Berkeley is still doing that asinine chicken dance and remaining at the bottom of the heap, its suckiness is unquestioned, and the 'Bull's mission is complete.

(Compiled by a Bull that just can't stop.)


Editor's Note:

As the fall season wraps up the Herald would like to congratulate all the intramural athletes for a great season! The semester isn't over just yet but it appears that the Saybrugians have been in the lead for a solid chunk of time. The second, third, and fourth spots are definitely hotly contested though: Morse, Timothy Dwight, Davenport and Calhoun all look like very strong contenders for the winter season. Morse, the Tyng Champion of 2000, is reputed to have strong winter teams, so the other colleges should watch out. Branford, Stiles, and Trumbull have been all over the charts so far this year and should not be swept under the carpet just yet. It's anyone's game. Play IMs. The race is on.

Back to Intramurals...

 

 


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