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Calhoun
Very few people know what lurks in the heart of the Calhoun basement. Memories of trysts past still haunt its poorly lit halls if you know what you're looking for. But beyond the infinite maze of locked doors, the Hounies are taking a stand against the debauchery. Led by Aubrey "I demand a recount of the points in last night's game" Jennings '01, the women's basketball team has become the epitome of all that is good in Calhoun. "Sports: the Antidrug," they chant as they process past the empty kegs, crack pipes, and loose women down to the shadowy depths of their practice gym. Returning from last year's struggle are Katie "Fearless Leader" Troutman '02, Liz "I play tennis but I can still kick your ass in basketball" Oosterhuis '02, Onoana "I live with Fearless Leader" Miller '02, and Isabelle "I also live with Fearless Leader" Kinsol-ving '02.With the upcoming additions of the women's volleyball team led by Amanda "The Good Doctor" Jenks '03, and bowling led by Alex "Bring the funk" Kass '03 to the movement, this winter could mark the turning point for our once glorious college. Perhaps their journey towards morality will prove fruitless, but if there is one less person in my entryway cooking crystal meth, we will know that their struggle was not in vain. Perhaps, too, justice will once again reign in the Tyng cup rankings when Calhoun is back in her rightful position: number one. (Compiled by a Hounie who just says no.)
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