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Ezra Stiles
It's December, which means that finals are right around the corner and winter IMs are getting started. Stiles debuted its brand new uniforms on Tuesday night, when the men's volleyball team and women's basketball team kicked off their seasons against Pierson. Volleyball struggled, losing its first game, but the team likes to think that a 10-1 record isn't so bad. Women's hoops, the defending champs, have no intention of letting up this year, and trounced Pierson. With Stiles being so close to the gym, we expect to have the home court advantage at every event. We know you have nothing better to do on an average night, so come to Payne Whitney to cheer your favorite teams to victory. Special prizes will be available at the end of the winter season for the most dedicated fans. Last, but not least, I will take a position usually reserved for members of Saybrook College and their mothers. That's right, I'm on my knees, begging you to start training for the swim meet second semester. Every year, Stiles loses many points in this event. It's hard for me to believe that there are no swimmers in our fine college. In fact, everyone who has ever done laundry in entryway F has had to swim across the flooded room to put their card in the machine. So get in the pool and start practicing. Special prizes will be available at the end of the season for anyone who competes in the swim meet and does not drown.
(Composed by someone who wishes the other IM secretaries would write these damn things.)
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