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Smack Zone
Chepiga
Well boys, I haven't a thing to say. Played a great game, all of you. Great game. I guess we just can't expect to win `em all. I'm going to tell you something I've kept to myself for years—none of you ever knew Geoff Chepiga. It was long before your time. But you know what a tradition he is at Yale. And the last thing he said to me—"Rock," he said, "sometime when the team is up against it—and the breaks are beating the boys—tell them to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Chipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Rock," he said. "But I'll know about it—and I'll be happy." JE A Hoops goes 12-0 ($1,000). The Yankees win another World Series next year ($1,000). YGT wins Ivies ($500). Anna gets the lead in the Staxxx ($500) and Ted watches it at least 15 times ($500). Over and out. Last Week: -$1,000, Current Balance: $10,660.Diskant
I could use this opportunity, my final smack, to wax nostalgic about the semester, toss out some clichés about moving on. But I won't. No, I'm gonna stick with what got me this far: football and Dolinsky's sex life. With regards to the former, the NFL season is rapping up and the Giants are playoff-bound. They'll win the NFC East ($1,000) while the Jets, Titans, Rams, and Vikings join 'em ($500 each). In the college game, Oklahoma wins the national championship ($1,000), sending the smirking Bobby Bowden back to Florida empty handed. Speaking of which, Dolly will be anything but this winter as she keeps herself gainfully employed. Finally, her badminton team performs like Chepiga after one drink too many, as they limp (sorry) along the rest of the season. Last Week: +$1000, Current Balance: $13,300.Dolinsky
The final bet. the last hurrah. What's left to say that hasn't been said before? Teddy's still got his hand in his pants, hoping to get lucky (or has he? Rumor has it that some lucky Smith student has been left quite (dis)satisfied with last weekend's proceedings.) And Chepiga is still crawling around Old Campus, hoping to get a "fresh" man. But I have to finish the semester off on a winning note: so, women's hockey falls to Norhteastern (big surprise—$500), men's hockey over Union, $500 and men's ball to Rhode Island, $400. I also bet that Ted gets no ass in his four years at Yale and that Chepiga does more research on the 2004 face book than his research papers. And Moran finally proves her Smack accusers wrong ($1). Last Week: -$800, Current Balance: $11,595.Nola Breglio, Guest
During my years at the Herald, I've been accused of being a soft, timid Smack writer, only betting on sure things and refusing to engage in the lascivious, repulsive discourse that often graces this page. Since this might (sob!) be my final Smack appearance, I figure, why stop now? You know what? Geoff, Ted, Anna, Joey, Laurie and Aaron are all smart, attractive, and kind people. I'm sure they all have a lot of romantic and sexual success here at Yale. Also, the Yankees will win more than half of their games next season ($3,000,000). Nola Breglio, BK '01, was a sports editor of the Herald in Fall 1998.Joey Ax, Guest
The Ax is back. Yes, I've taken time out from my busy
schedule of doing Chepiga's mom and slapping Diskant around with my
giant Johnson to give you what you want: me. And it's about time; how
many more weeks could you listen to Chepiga bullshit about how all the
ladies "want" him, hear Diskant pretend to know something
about anything, and watch Dolinsky prove by her astonishing lack of
sports acumen that she is, indeed, a girl. Men's and women's b-ballers
win this weekend ($1,500 each), while men's hockey sticks it to RPI and
Union ($1,250 each). Mike Hampton signs with a team not named the Mets
($2,000). And I get a piece of Moran's ass ($100). Joey Ax, MC
'01, was a sports editor of the Herald in Spring 1999.
Aaron Lichtig, Guest
I'm first in war, first in peace, and first in the heart of the
guy who's waiting for me to write this so he can take this paper
away. Everyone gets a last dance, so I'm tangoin'. Over break, the State
College Little Lions win the Kiwanas Tournament and big little Lichtig
hits for 10 ($3,000) and the Nittany Lions run over Temple ($1,000)
as the king of the white ballers goes for 25. Thanks editors, for
all you've done. Herald over Daily in hoops ($100,000).
Aaron Lichtig, JE '02, was a sports editor of the Herald
in Fall 1999.
Laurie Randell, Guest
Aw, what a reunion. A bunch of editors who couldn't hack it in Smack the first time around (and me, who kicked all their asses). Nothing's changed, except perhaps Ax's ego, which has grown about as fast as a certain other essential has shrunk. And Tig's bets sure haven't improved—$1,000 says he bets on Penn State football even though they tanked and will be sittin' at home New Year's. $3,000 on Michigan on New Year's, though. The only thing getting scored on more than Moron over break will be Auburn's defense ($5,000). Laurie Randell, SY '02, was a sports editor of the Herald in 1999-2000.
All materials © 2000 The Yale Herald, Inc., and its staff.
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