The third degree: a frosh guide to going home

First semester is over. Second semester has already started. Somewhere in there landed winter break. Where did the time fly? For a freshman coming out of a whirlwind semester, the break was long awaited and short-lived.

Where did the time go? For the most part, the few weeks were consumed with questions from family, friends, relatives, and my personal favorite: questions from the neighbor's son just back from Bulgaria. Oddly enough, from each group similar questions emerged. "What college do you go to?"

This one was definitely the easiest, but not a walk in the park. What do you say to people you don't know very well? "I go to Yale?" or "I go to school in Connecticut?" or "I don't speak English?" Sometimes confessing you go to Yale is like admitting to a crime. Too often people are put off by the name, so I usually answered, "I go to school in Connecticut." If further pressed, I quietly uttered, "Yale." "What do you want to study?"

This one was sticky. What do I want to study? Freshmen aren't supposed to know that yet! My relatives were really unable to grasp such a difficult concept. And the fact that you have two years to declare your major does not faze the prying aunt whom you haven't spoken to in years. Some of us have set ideas; some of us have no idea what we want. Regardless, the words "pre-med" and "pre-law" have a certain magic that makes the eyes of relatives light up with joy. For friends, the mysterious answer of "EP&E" seemed to win out. "What is that?" they ask. Not that I would study EP&E, or that I even know what EP&E stands for, but effortlessly spouting acronyms is always impressive. "How do you like New Haven?"

There is no right way to answer to this one. To the friends who go to schools tucked away in grassy hills, pictures of Orange Street at 2 a.m. easily lead to comments like, "How can you stand living there?" To the friends who go to school in places like New York and L.A., ideas of New Haven nightlife bring either dubious looks or riotous laughter. For the family, this one's a snap: "Oh, it's much safer than I thought it would be. There are police everywhere." "What are the kids like?"

This question demands very different answers depending on the questioner. Usually "they're nice" fits the bill. Occasionally a "they're all really smart" is useful with relatives. To the immediate family, the truth is basically adequate with a few omissions of certain non-G-rated aspects. "There's a lot of potheads" doesn't go very far. Neither does " there are a whole lot of lushes." With friends: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me Elihu Yale. "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?"

Tacky. Very tacky. Even with one's friends, portraying several sordid tales of crushes, screw dates, and drunken encounters is complicated. From all accounts, romance at Yale is a unique experience. Who but a fellow Yalie could really understand the complications of a stolen kiss at a Co-op dance? Even after going through years of middle and high school torment and frustration with your old buddies from home, there is a certain difficulty in confessing your embarrassing college deeds. To the close friends, the brutal truth is, of course, required. Relatives definitely have a different spin on the matter. "Found any husband material yet?" was a favorite of mine. Husband material? I'd just finished a semester of watching these guys play Zelda for 40 hours a day. "Are you having fun?"

This is the greatest question of all. Are we, dear reader? Are you?

Somehow I survived all the questions and made it back to Yale for another semester. I'm sure in going home for spring break, the third degree will begin anew. The question is, will the answers be different? Lainie Fefferman is a freshman in Silliman.

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