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Davenprot
So last week Davenport was dubbed the team that was "not hot" in the Tyng Cup race—the team that deserves all the scorn and contempt of the other colleges. We find this a tad strange, as we are currently maintaining an iron grip on second place, our highest ranking in recent memory.The following D-port teams were undefeated at the time of this writing: men's squash, coed water polo, and women's volleyball. I'd say, "Goddamn, that's pretty solid." We took a random sampling of D-port athletes to get their reactions to this character defamation by the Herald. "That's a load of horse dookey," water polo captain Michael "I know how to really use innertubes" Zimmer '01 spat. The men's volleyball team was not pleased either. Clad in their new "wife-beater" team attire, the men uniformly agreed that the Herald deserved a beating of its own. Our investigators also overheard a conversation between recently arrived Dean "Mayor Diamond" Peter Quimby and squash star Jane "Michael" Kavanagh '04. Mayor Q: Jane, I'm not pleased about this.
Jane: Yes, true.
So there you have it. D-porters protesting vicious slander left and right. The women's hoops team was silent on the matter, deciding instead to take its anger out on Morse in a 30-point trouncing driven by looks of death from Chrissy "I would play if both my legs were chopped off" Kournioti '02. Point well taken. So what's our point here? The point is that this is one winter IM season when Davenport is not going to just roll over and die. So all those colleges that had designs on second place, take heed: we're here to stay.
(Compiled by Mayor Quimby's hired heavies.)
All materials © 2001 The Yale Herald, Inc., and its staff.
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