 | |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
 | |
Morse
It just isn't fair. Playing Morse in basketball is like showing up for a blind date and finding out she's Linda Tripp's ugly sister. Or going to the doctor and finding out you need a proctological exam. Or stopping by your boyfriend's house to surprise him and finding him in bed with that bimbo who, every single friggin' time you see her, is wearing a shirt that would fit snugly on a toothbrush. After another week of dominance, A-, B-, and C-hoops boast a combined 14-1 record. Rob "B.M.O.C." Fumerton '01 leads the A-squad, while the B-sters feature Roger "Stone Cold Steve" Austin '03 and Captain Pat Nemer "Piss me" off '03. Against overmatched D-port, Andrew Wheal-"ing and dealing"-y '02 notched an unprecedented double-double, and Chris "Master" Wheeler '04 posted his best game of the year.Women's hoops recorded a big win over JE, with Melissa "Too tall" Bailey '04 and Michelle "Kerry" Collins '03 leading the charge. Men's volleyball, another juggernaut, won for the second time when JE decided it was too wussy to show up. Dirk "I used to play A-hoops, but I couldn't handle the pressure" Van Den Bos '01 and Noah "Joey sleeps with my sister" Kolman '01 have been the stars. And as if that weren't enough, squash is looking invincible with the arrival of freshmen phenoms Brad Hath- "Where there's a will, there's" -away '04 and Drew "You don't have to be tall to be good at squash" Chen '04. I hope you're all ready for your proctological exams.
(Compiled by someone who was completely naked when he wrote this.)
All materials © 2001 The Yale Herald, Inc., and its staff.
Got any questions, comments, or advice? Email the online editors at
online@yaleherald.com.
Like to join us?