Calhoun

Here in Calhoun, we have pride. Well, at least more pride than Pierson. Yes, our players may be small. And yes, we may still be recovering from last weekend's Bookworld shindig, but at least we have honor and decency. In the immortal words of hockey captain Arthur Kinsolv "anyth"ing '03, "f*%? dumb sh$#!!" Yes, we may have lost in water polo by one (illegal?) goal, but at least we don't have strange tufts of hair coming out of our bathing suits in places they're not supposed to (I'm looking at you, JE). How can we be ashamed when we have troopers like hockey player Chris "These skates aren't ghetto, they're retro" Petrin '04 marching up to The Whale and inventing a new form of hockey defense we in the 'Houn like to call "the obstacle course"?

Most importantly, we in Calhoun pay no mind to certain prepubescent non-athletes who write for certain second-rate Yale publications in their dens of shame, staring lustfully at nudie pictures from www.chickswithdicks.com and drooling shamelessly over the hot bodies of the men in Calhoun (hot bods noted: Nick "The Ladies' Man" Rosic '04 and Eric "Dr." J. Schneider '03). We don't judge; in fact, we understand the sort of jealousy that leads these "people" to defame the fine players of Calhoun.

We transcend their reprehensible reporting skills with the fine volleyball skills of Will Reid "My lips, TC sucks" '04 and the polo prowess of Kelly "I re" Mayn- "h" ard "as a rock even though I quit swimming" '03. Oh yeah, and we here in the 'Houn would like to give Branford a word of advice: watch your osteoporosis-riddled backs—those bowling balls can get a bit heavy...

(Compiled by a 'Hounie.)

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