Saybrook

Here's a transcript from the most recent IM secretaries meeting:

Carlos Pinela, SM '82 (Director of IMs): Welcome everyone. I know you've all been anxiously awaiting another exciting meeting. DC: Have we ever! We've got another great new idea!

Carlos: Shut up, D-port.

BK: We'd like to propose that Trumbull be banned from all intramurals forever. Carlos: I was actually considering that...

BR: We disagree. Well, Trumbull does suck worse than a Commons' "Squash Patty and Soylada Night," but they're just sick of living in Saybrook's immense shadow.

SM: Did you see how they spanked our water polo team? We were dazzled by the play of Sara "Va" Giner '03, Jen Bou-"va"-rey '03, and "Got me on my knees," Lael "a" Harrison '03!

TD: As our proud lions cross the tundra, frozen long since the autumn of yore, we take the plunge deep into the sea of polo, we whisper "Ashé." PC: Heh heh heh. Heh heh heh.

Carlos: What are you laughing at, Pierson?

PC: Silliman said "Va-giner."

Carlos: Poor, stupid Pierson...Moving on, Morse, you're losing the Tyng Cup, your lipstick is gone—you've lost your mojo. How do you feel? MC: Like a poor man's John Wayne Bobbitt.

[All other colleges laugh and point at Morse.]

Carlos: Now now, everyone. It's not nice to laugh at a college just because they're ugly.

Now unless anyone has another topic for us to discuss, this meeting is adjourned.

(Compiled by an unbiased, reliable source.)

Graphic by Eugene Wong.

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