Smack Zone

Ladies, our smack has been accused of tameness and lameness, but don't worry—just little boys with little dicks talking their ego (etc.) up. They just can't handle us—who could? Fitzpatrick regularly walks on the animal side with her big boys; Darcy is a regular dominatrix with the ribbons. There's only one bet to make this week—Ravens over Giants (NYC sucks) for $2,000. And Joey's betting on his girlfriend in the hopes on getting some is as hopeless as Fitzpatrick betting against Chicago. Last Week: +$1,000. Current Balance: $7,600.

Wiecks

One, two, three, four, which boy will give me more? Dolinsky, there are just so many boys, and so little time; what does one do? Yale hockey will sweep Notre Dame both at the Whale and the Coliseum ($800), men's squash will sink Navy ($400), and women's squash will top Princeton ($200). As far as the Super Bowl goes, as if we want NYC to claim another national championship! I'll take any team over one associated with New York, so the Ravens will just have to suffice ($400). Last Week: +$200. Current Balance: $5,700.

Fitzpatrick

So Rocky Mountain girl wants to get nasty with NYC? You can't be jealous that NYC has the best to offer in just about everything except cleanliness. In an attempt to be "clean," Dolinsky now sports Wiecks' ribbon style to her late night "shuttlecock" practices; let's keep the racket on the fifth floor of PWG. I'm going to go for the Giants, despite my previous lack of faith ($100). Stanford over Washington State ($500) and Kansas over Kansas State ($400) in men's NCAA hoops. In the NBA, Toronto over the Bulls ($600). Last Week: +$350. Current Balance: $5,050.

Joey Ax, Guest

Beating three chicks in Smack is like getting Moran into the sack after two drinks: too friggin' easy. Dolinsky has her head so far up her ass, she's qualified to be president. Super Bowl Sunday is here, and while the sports editors will be watching The Prince of Tides, I'll be watching the Giants kick the crap out of the Ravens ($3,000). Women's b-ball takes out Brown ($1,000) as Perkins records at least two steals ($1,000). Oh, and at least one disgusting, vomit-inducing hook-up occurs at retreat ($500). Last Week: +$600. Current Balance: 7,120.

Joey Ax, MC '01, is a senior editor of the Herald.

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