Smack Zone

Virgin ears?! Fitzpatrick, I guess you only count it if it's more than three on the same team. If your ears are virgin, then Darcy isn't a cradle robber and Littlefield's smack makes sense. This week is all about repeating past glories. Men's basketball will spank Princeton like it did last year ($600) and men's hockey will give St. Lawrence another beating ($500). Men's and women's swimming continue their winning streak against Harvard and Princeton ($600 each). Last Week: +$2,000. Current Balance: $9,600.

Fitzpatrick

So forget the Giants—they're not really a NY team anyway. This weekend in a Catholic showdown in women's hoops, I'll take Notre Dame over BC ($600). Speaking of Catholic, my virgin ears burn after revelations at the retreat: you girls don't say the words "I never" to anything. Can we get "Behind the Numbers" on you? In the NBA, it is Portland over the L.A. Clippers ($600), and in the NCAA Illinois over Northwestern($400). Wiecks' neighbors file some noise complaints at the hotel she's running off to with some Yale guy ($100). Last Week: -$600. Current Balance: $5,500

Wiecks

In honor of quickly approaching Valentine's Day, I'll pair my bets on both the men's and women's teams to triumph this weekend—men's and women's fencing ($500), squash ($300), and track ($1,000) will dominate. Speaking of domination, all of this dominatrix talk is pointed in the wrong direction—Fitzpatrick, isn't being aggressive a prerequisite to dating football players...not that you ever do that?! Before I forget, men's hockey ($300) and the Nuggets win on Friday ($300). Last Week: +400. Current Balance: $6,100.

Nathan Littlefield, Guest

You girls get one shitty smack a month, but you're four over the quota. Wiecks "pulls a muscle" this weekend ($500), as every team in the X"F"L's running turd of a football league loses at least one player to a season-ending injury ($500). The Celtics add to their four-game winning streak by dropping the Pistons faster than Fitzpatrick in front of her "big" boys ($1,000). And Dolinksy adds a fifth to her winning streak by Sunday ($100). Last Week: -$4,500. Current Balance: $2,620.

Nathan Littlefield, ES '03, is a managing editor of the Herald.

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