Calhoun

In fact, the first phase of our charge has already begun. Our artillery is invading the gym by water. Under the tutelage of veteran water polo player Master William Sledge, the team has turned into a scoring machine.  The tandem of Nick "I can score on anyone, from anywhere" Rosic '04 and Stelios "I shoot with style" Fragos '01 always gives the 'Houn an early lead.  They are aided by Adam "I score in multiples of two" Milch '04.  At the other end, our opponents find themselves without their inner tubes thanks to the defensive play of Mack "Always on the attack" Blumer '03, Charles "You can't get by me" Esteves '04, and John Nor- "I will" -bury "you underwater" '02.

In addition, the 'Houn's special forces, namely, the immensely talented swimming squad, came out of the preliminary swim meet undefeated. In fact, the seven-person team outright swept most of the events. Incredibly fast performances came from Charlie "I got the breaststroke" Edel '01, Kelly "Team? I am the team" Maynard '03, Jennifer "Thompson" Joseph '04, Hansel "I" Took- "out that first 50 way too fast but still beat everyone" -es '03, and Tom "I shaved my legs for this meet" Ni '03.  Ben "I'm the fastest finisher in the field" Elder '03 and Sam "Just put me anywhere and I'll still win" Elder '01 were also too much for the competition as they dominated the freestyle and backstroke. So to all of the colleges: the storm is coming. Get ready for phase two.

(Compiled by that nine-foot snowman.)

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