Silliman

We've got to start this week off talking about the bowling squad. The Silliman bowlers have faced some very tough luck this season, with a six-pin loss to Branford and a 12-pin loss to Trumbull last week. These results, however, have not fazed the bowlers with the deepest bench in the league. "Suspiciousallx," a.k.a. Alex "Goodwill socks are so tight and smooth" Cardenas '02, and "Folk" Lauren "bitchin' pin action" Rodriguez '04 have been consistent pros. Helping them out last week from our AAA affiliate in Boise were Conor "I need n" O'Toole "s save my personal bowling shoes" '04, and Nate "Dogg" Hood '04. And I have to say that Captain Mike "Bring it on!" Mackenzie '03 looked genuinely weird without his Sillimander suit. Men's squash has until now been slighted in IM publicity. Captain Andrew Dervan '04 deserves props for taking up the sport over winter break just so he could participate in IMs. We like that. Also, credit Andrew "If I were an alcoholic, you might call me" Liverman '02, Dave Brown '01, and Ben Silbermann '03 for keeping the team going throughout the season. Alas, we only have one victory. But that victory is worth a championship to us, because it came against the college with the lamest snowball taunts (i.e. "you throw like a girl"), our neighbors with "big red," no doubt elephantitis-plagued balls, Timothy Dwight.

(Compiled by André the Giant.)

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