minor threats

The Humpty Dance
Sat., Feb. 24, 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.
Silliman Common Room

A '90s dance already? Hmm. Coming soon: the Hasn't-Been-Played-On KC 101-For-A-Whole-Week Dance.

a caprostitution

Something Extra Jam
Sat., Feb. 24, 7:30 p.m.
First and Summerfield United Methodist Church

But if you really want "something extra," slip the doorman $60 and tell him MT sent you...

juicy fruit

`The Cider House Rules'
Fri., Feb. 23, 7 p.m.
Branford Common Room

After a wild night of Cider Jack and golden delicious lovin', MT's gotta agree that, yes, the Cider House does indeed rule.

strokin' in the boys' room

`The Velveteen Rabbit'
Fri., Feb. 23, 7 and 9 p.m.; Sat., Feb. 24, 1, 3, and 7 p.m.; Sun., Feb. 25, 1 and 3 p.m. 248 Park St.

Years later, MT still misses its Velveteen Rabbit at night. So soft and velvety, the cure for MT's own "scarlet fever."

sing to the reaper

Yale Glee Club 140th Anniversary Reunion Concert
Fri., Feb. 23, 8 p.m.
Woolsey Hall

Featuring members of the Class of 1861 as compost.

hark the herald angels drink!

`Herald' 15th Anniversary Gala
Sat., Feb. 24, 7 p.m.

Featuring members of the Class of 1986 as old, bloated, drunken, lecherous journalists.

my god! what have i done?!

`Herald' 15th Anniversary Gala: the morning after
Sun., Feb. 25, 9 a.m.

Featuring members of the Classes of 2001, '02, '03, and '04 as morally and physically soiled hangover victims, lying in bed next to old, bloated, drunken, lecherous journalists.

—Mr. Sandman, Koopa Troopa, Leviticus E. Grutchfield, and Captain Obvious might not be old, but they're already drunken and lecherous.

Back to A&E...