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Branford
Last week, one of Pierson's IM secretaries wrote an entire intramural update about a game against Branford's B-hoops squad. "In the end, the Branfordians never stood a chance," he wrote, concluding, "Branford sucks, Pierson rules!!!!"That's funny considering that Branford is seven places and 200 points ahead of them in the IM standings. I doubt I even need to mention that they spent an entire week talking smack about an upcoming matchup with our undefeated IM hockey team, only to get their asses handed to them in a sling. (But I will anyway.) Pierson rules? Please.
Hey Trumbull, listen up: you suck. Seriously. There's no way you could beat us. No one stands between Branford and the perfect 11-0 season that Captains "My blow-up doll needs more" Aaron "it" Zamost '01 and "I smell sex and" Randy Wolfe '01 have spent four years working for. Even without the likes of "Life with" Brian Ferrara '02, Rach-el "If it" Burnes "use Vagisil" '03 and benchwarmer Tony "Quackenbush" Mendoza '03, we still took Pierson 5-2.
Sent to us from heaven, "St." Peter Walker '03 just will not let us lose, and neither will standouts Greg "Cornish" Hendrickson '03, Chris "Ben" Harper "sucks ass" '02 and Chris "Woody Woodp—" Eckerle '02. A postponed game means nothing, Trumbull. You're just delaying the inevitable. Oh yeah, and I have to mention that we're pretty good at swimming too.
(Compiled by a birdwatcher...well, a birdhearer.)
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