Smack Zone

Dolinsky

Darcy, you're blond. Your smack makes no sense, and the style tips you've been dealing out belong in Seventeen magazine, not the sports section. But that's to be expected from a girl who thinks hockey and hickey are the same thing. Fitzpatrick's bets are colder than Ted's last rejection. Virginia Tech is going to rock Notre Dame (rednecks over Irish any day, baby!) for $600. Texas puts Iowa so tight to the wall that there's no room even for Stewart's miniscule balls. Yale men's hoops over Columbia's Lions ($600). Last Week: +$1,700. Current Balance: $8,800.

Wiecks

Hey Dolinsky, had any good coffee lately? Tsk, tsk—you shouldn't mix work and play! And Fitzpatrick, about that flannel shirt...still reminiscing about the grunge era and the death of Kurt Cobain? And then there's our Smack Guest this week, Matt "Hi, I'm Dr. Evil and I want to bet $100,000,000" Stewart. Riiight. For further insight, check out his webpage—and Stewart, no, I didn't visit it because I want to have your children. Men's basketball wins on Friday ($500) and men's hockey wins on Saturday ($500). Last Week: +$1,300. Current Balance: $10,600.

Fitzpatrick

Okay, Wiecks, you've gone too far this time, something I know you're accustomed to doing in other areas of your life. Grunge? At least I don't look like Little Bo Peep with those oh-so-cute ribbons every day. I'll take Notre Dame over Virginia Tech ($400) in men's hoops and Stanford over Washington ($500). And how about Iowa State over Texas (sorry, Flauren). In women's, let's go for Rutgers over West Virginia ($600). I'm going for the team with my favorite ethics partners, Yale ($500). Last Week: +$2,100. Current Balance: $9,500

Matt Stewart, Guest

Balls to the wall. You don't see much of that these days. I can hear them now: "I'll take all my N.Y. teams, plus Yale wins, plus your mom takes it in the poop chute." In a vote of confidence they front some chump change. Give me $100,000,000 on the Wizards to bitchslap Vince "third best on his college team" Carter and his punk-ass Jurassic Park escapees back to Toronto. Call me crazy. Call me inebriated at time of authorship. But don't dare say I ain't balls to the wall. Last Week: +$800. Current Balance: $10,100 Matt Stewart is a senior in Ezra Stiles college.

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