minor threats

`How Delightful to Know Mr. Lear'
Sun., Mar. 4, 2 to 3 p.m.
British Art Center

"My daughters! AHHHH!"

"Oh, that King Lear, what a joker! And Gloucester, how did you do that missing eye gag? It's amazing!" "Actually, my bastard son singed my eyes out with a scorching iron."

`spine' tingling

`Seventy Scenes of Halloween'
Fri., Mar. 2 and Sat., Mar. 3 at 8:30 and 11 p.m.
Yale Cabaret

Yeah, you could watch these 70 scenes of Halloween, but MT is just gonna stay home and watch that one scene of Halloween where Jamie Lee Curtis gets naked. Seventy times.

MT on spring break

pinche gringo!
Cancún, Mexico

American Tourist: "Wow, Cancun! I just love real Mexican culture!"

me amo america

Orlando, Fla.

Japanese Tourist: "Wow, Orlando! I just love real American culture!"

un viaje breve

Bridgeport, Conn.

Stupid Tourist: "Wow, Bridgeport! I just love..."

(Gunshot, tourist falls dead.)

hey, want some arbitration, baby?

Spring Training, Arizona

If A-Rod is worth $252 million, MT figures its "talents" are at least worth a case of Extra Gold and a new hooker every night. Or at least A-Rod's mom every night...

history of spring break, part 1

Versailles, France

When MT got the AYA Externship at Versailles, it didn't expect "piss-poor job" to be so...literal.

oh, gov'nuh!

London, England

Some people complain about British women's gapped teeth, but MT knows what that's good for...

—Classes? Sheeeeet, it's Miller Time for Mr. Sandman, Koopa Troopa, Leviticus E. Grutchfield, and Captain Obvious.

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