Smack Zone

Baby, March Madness is about to hit! Will the Bulldogs defeat Penn and go on to the NCAAs? Maybe they'll have a chance if Fitzpatrick spreads some of her Irish luck to the sophomores on the team ($500). But if worst comes to worst, she always has her horses to turn to; she always says she likes 'em big and hairy. Meanwhile, Darcy's jokes are staler than USC against Stanford ($1,000). Wiecks, do you even know what a hole in one is? Wait, I guess you do—many have tried and many have succeeded. Last Week: +$1,700. Current Balance: $8,800.

Wiecks

Dolinsky, have you had any holes in one lately? How convenient it is to return home after such a short walk. And I've always loved little children with red hair. A little too much partying at the Herald gala is perhaps to blame? Speaking of partying, Fitzpatrick heads South to New Orleans over vacation. She may have missed Mardi Gras, but I'm sure she'll make a party of her own. And Zamost, all I can say is that we only wish your columns were as funny as your Smack. $500 says men's b-ball wins two this weekend. Last Week: +$0. Current Balance: $10,300.

Fitzpatrick

Well the food at the Herald gala was worse than the pasta the dining halls serve eight different ways to make it last a week. Thank heavens for the open bar. Thank you also to my co-editor for showing how it is done in platforms and a cardigan sweater. In men's hoops, St. Josep'hs PA over LaSalle ($400), Michigan State over Michigan($400), and Iowa State over Nebraska ($200). And on the racetrack, I'll say Sterling Martin will finish in the top-10 at the Daimler Chrysler 400. Last Week: +$1,750. Current Balance: $11,250

Aaron Zamost, Guest

I just met this Darcy girl and I can already tell she wants me. Seriously, you should see the way she's looking at me right now. Don't mistake her look of lust with the look of fear in the eyes of number-one Stanford. They'll lose to my Bruins ($500) with UCLA on its way to a four seed or higher in the tourney ($1,000). Yale, unfortunately, will drop faster than this Darcy chick, losing both Fri. and Sat. ($1,000). Oh yeah, and Searle wins in Montezuma ($100). Last Week: +$3,000. Current Balance: $9,300.

Aaron Zamost, BR '01, is a Herald senior editor.

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