minor threats

tony kukoc, what have you done?

`Croatia 2000'

Sat., Mar. 21, 6 p.m.

LC 101

Free

"Well, we finally got rid of Godzilla 2000. Tokyo is safe at last."

"But wait, what's that, yonder on the horizon?"

"Holy shit! Call Mothra! It's... CROATIA 2000!"

my prediction? pain

`Exit Wounds'

Showcase Cinemas

DMX closes the Puffy trial in the way it was meant to be.

rushdie, you ignorant slut

Taliban: Pros and Cons

Thurs., Mar. 29, 4 p.m.

Luce Hall Auditorium

Free

Pro: The veil business is booming.

Con: "Stone women to death for adultery" policy ruined prom.

Pro: Lots of gravel.

Con: On second thought, those Buddha statues were kinda neat, weren't they?

the voices in my head tell me i like it raw

Pearly Sweets and the Platonics, with Gooden, Brown Couch, and The David Slade  

Fri., Mar. 23, 8 p.m.

Calhoun Cabaret

Pearly returns to Yale with deep Chicago influences. Among the cover songs now in his repertoire: "Suck A Cheetah's Dick," "Birdman Kicked My Ass," and "Rock 'n Roll McDonald's." Rock over London, rock on Chicago. Wheaties: the Breakfast of Champions.

whip it good

The Past, Present and Future of the World Trade Organization

Fri., Mar. 23, 4 p.m.

Luce Hall Auditorium

"From the organization that brought you the great taste of Coca-Cola and Nike's fabulous footwear comes Productopia! A whole continent of living enjoyment featuring palatial homes, clean streets, beautiful spouses, and delicious food, all at reasonable prices made possible by our legions of third-world workers in their subterranean slave holes."

—Despite the amount of time they spend hanging around the middle schools ("preying," the cops called it), Mr. Sandman, Koopa Troopa, Berma Shave, and Leviticus E. Grutchfield couldn't come up with any cheap sex jokes this week.

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