Rob Getzschman: Songs for the Anti-de-counterrevolution

BY SAM FRANK

"F5 Records is pleased to introduce our newest artist and first release outside the realm of hip-hop, Rob Getzschman. Discovered by a talent scout on the corner of 16th and Washington in downtown St. Louis, Getzschman was initially signed to record an LP of classical interpretations in his improvisational style on the recorder-flute, before we discovered his talents on the guitar and harmonica. When the recorder project was scrapped as `too ambitious,' F5 paired Getzschman with notable hip-hop producer DJ Crucial, and the two immediately got to work laying tracks of Getzschman's own compositions...

"Getzschman's music reflects a gamut of influences spanning the 20th century—from the blues of countless dead men preserved on vinyl or acetate and reflected in his country fingerpicked guitar and assimilation of widely diverse vocal approaches; to his harmonica, which varies from `buttery smooth' to `gut-bucket funk'; to his lyrics, which maintain a distant acquaintance with brevity but a consistent relationship with meaning...

"`Working in the studio with Crucial was great,' Getzschman said. `We really connected musically.' DJ Crucial concurred. `Working in the studio with Rob was great,' he said. `We really connected musically.'...

"Aside from being a lover of music in general, Getzschman said he would like to contribute to the uplifting of thought through whatever vehicles are available. In this case, music. `There's so much opportunity for substance in art,' he said, `and most of what is out there at the turn of the century is cynical, mediocre, or way too commercial.' Getzschman said he sees a reversal of the simplifying trend of the 20th century, back towards art which has intention and message. `I'm optimistic, because there's so much potential, we're bound to dig ourselves out of the rut. I meet so many people daily with such good vision for the future. I can't help but expect a renaissance of American thought.' Getzschman's motivation, he said, is to produce a lasting combination to the arts, through music, film, or any combination which might come through the persistent education and mastery of.

"`I'd be happy if anything I did made people think a little more' Getzschman said. `Thinking seems to be a lost art.'... "Stay tuned for retails." [sic]

A digression to elsewhere in the Web's digestive tract: raptureready.com runs a "Rapture Index" that charts the signs of Apocalypse from false Christs to plague to apostasy; mcsweeneys.net reprints the year's "Most Censored Press Releases," from "Flirt Like a Celebrity Says Flirtologist" to "It's a Bird! It's a Plane! No, it's Colonel Sanders!" to "Hey Kids...Color Our Birds!" Both sites miss half the point: in this spectacular society, press releases prefigure the Last Judgment. Thus: Rapture Rating: Two 6's out of three. (And the music? Acoustic-and-harmonica neo-Luddite folk-with-samples that's not as awful as one might hope, though still hard to take. Zero Rapture Factor.)

P.S.: If Momus' post-Warhol dictum ("In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 people") holds true, and I'm famous for 15 Getzschmans, does that mean I'm the Antichrist? (F5)

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