The election are the only fun part

BY BEN REITER

REBECCA ROSENTHAL/YH The naivete of these well-meaning youths is touching.

I was, therefore, amazed upon arriving at Yale to see the vast power wielded by our version of a student council—the Yale College Council (YCC). Here's what the YCC can do: plan underfunded parties, aid students with their personal sanitary habits, and pass resolutions. And here's what they cannot do: everything else.

There's a reason only one current junior is running for a YCC office this year and half of the candidates are freshmen. The young'uns, unlike the rest of the jaded undergraduate body, have yet to be beaten down into submission by The Man.

I, as a seasoned vet, had to chuckle at some of the goals iterated by the candidates in the Mon., Apr. 16 edition of the Yale Daily News. One candidate for secretary wants to revamp Undergraduate Health Services—more widely know as DUH (as in, "You have a fever, honey? You must be pregnant, duh."). Most of the candidates want to fight for financial aid reform; many are grossed out by the food in the dining halls.

These kids, mind you, are running to become a part of an organization that has been fighting to install soap dispensers in dormitory bathrooms for four years and counts the battle for two-ply toilet paper as a landmark victory. But I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps the candidates aren't merely striving to pad their resumes; perhaps, in their heart of hearts, they honestly think that thexwy'll be able to do something of value. They won't.

The sad part is that it's not the YCC's fault. No one can blame them. As The Lox would tell you, life is all about money, power, and respect, and the YCC gets none of those from the Administration. This University's political system is like the Eastern Bloc; the Administration is the big bad USSR, and the YCC is Czechoslovakia—a weak satellite governed by a puppet regime more impotent than a pre-Viagra Bob Dole.

But there is a way for the YCC, and the entire Yale undergraduate student body, to hold a Prague Spring. Why can't we have Dave Matthews for Spring Fling? According to the Administration, it's "not in the budget." Why can't the food taste better than swine slop? "Not in the budget." Why can't Yale create a better financial aid deal? "Not in the budget." Why can't we have residential college mental health counselors, so that stressed kids have someone to talk to when they're about to flip out? "Not in the budget."

It is quite obvious where the Adminis-tration's sights are set: on the alumni. It knows well that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that, despite the serious grievances people have when they are students, they'll empty their pockets for their good old alma mater once they leave. The University actually tried to coerce Maya Lin, SY '81, GRD '87—who, praise the Lord, refused—into building a monument for donors who gave at least $300,000. And all we undergraduate leeches ever want to do, besides pay tuition, is spend, spend, spend the University's money.

So, you want to scare the Administration? Do this: have each willing senior sign a petition stating that he or she will not donate a dime to Yale until certain, simple YCC goals have been met—be they related to Spring Fling, bathroom cleanliness, financial aid, anything. Now that's a Senior Class Gift to be proud of —a gift to the students of this school, not directly to the University's coffers.

But did I vote in this year's YCC elections? Of course I did. It's something of a democratic duty, after all. But I used mostly modified high school criteria—whose name I liked the best, which of the candidates never lied their way in to (or cheated me out) of a college seminar spot. Because until the YCC gets any power at all, it doesn't matter one bit who is a part of it.

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