Smack Zone

Hammond

My first smack of the year begins with a tribute to the one beer wonder, Kevin Tran. HeÕs the only 175-lb. guy IÕve met who canÕt hold down 6 ounces of beer. $200 says Kevin vomits in the Naples bathroom this weekend. And as for Luberda, she seems pretty innocent, so IÕm gonna play it safe and put $500 on not running into her during my weekend of binging. Also, Bonds passes MarisÕ old mark with homer 62 ($300), my Packers easily dispatch the Lions ($500), and Louisville easily wins its third straight ($1000). Current Balance: $5,000.

Tran

Smack is back! IÕll kick this off with a ballsy bet on the Jets slipping by the Rams in the City of Brotherly Love ($500). My Sooners will annihilate North Texas despite having a QB who canÕt throw further than five yards ($700). Bonds will reach 63 after this weekend ($300), then take off in his private jet with his masseuse, leaving sickly Denver kids crying in the dark. Lastly, $300 says Hammond gets no play despite camping out next to drunken freshmen at every party. For any and all comers, bring it and prepare to be my bitch! Current Balance: $5,000.

Luberda

As we kick things off this fall semester, I think IÕll begin with the safest bet of them all: $500 says that though Hammond hit on every frosh at the Bazaar, he still wonÕt score any freshman tail this weekend. On to college football, where some scoring may actually take place. IÕll take Nebraska over Notre Dame ($300). In Major League Baseball, you can count on the Cubs to edge past the Braves 2-1 ($200). And look for Sampras to barely beat out Safin in the semifinals of the U.S. Open ($200). Current Balance $5,000.

Drunken Senior Editors, Guest

After MiyaÕs, VivaÕs, JoshÕs, and 15 other places who didnÕt give us their names, weÕve pretty much smacked all there is to smack. Except, of course, Kate Moran, whom we couldnÕt find anywhere, including Grove St. Cemetery, the Daily boardroom, or with Laurie. Next Thursday, the Lions will smack the ÕHoos and Omar will carry for 100 ($650). JoshÕs ÕNiners will bone the Dirty Birds ($1,000), while the Cubs fall farther into oblivion($500). Current Balance: $5,000.

The drunken senior editors are utterly useless.

-Laurie Randell, SY '02, is Executive Editor of the Herald.

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