Timothy Dwight

To those who think TD will be softened by our new, air-conditioned home, let this serve as a warning—we hate being away from our real house. And now we're going to be taking our anger out on you.

Thanks to our strong freshman class, represented by John "Sexual" Favors '05, Jon "Take your weak game back to the" Farmer '05, and "Ave" Maria Keating '05, football racked up 41 big points in co-ed and men's football against Trumbull. And you are next.

Volleyball also met with great success, beating Branford two games to none. The efforts of veterans "Silent" Bob Sabater '02, Hayden "Iron Chef" Gallary '02, Andrea "Pain" Stewart '02, and Virgil "I'm the captain" Calejesan '02 helped to break Branford's spirit like the brittle hip of a 100-year-old man. We close with a haiku of warning:

Step onto the field

Terror in your eyes, trembling

Kiss your ass goodbye.

(Compiled by two fans of ASHEville.)

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