minor threats

Melissa Etheridge: Live and Alone

Mon., Oct. 15, 8 p.m.

The Palace Theatre

This evening of lesbian performance will be hot hot hot...except, wait, it's Melissa Etheridge, and she'll be alone.

Melissa Etheridge: Live and Alone

Tues., Oct. 16, 8 p.m.

The Palace Theatre

Actually, she'd probably be better off using her tongue for other things: think David Crosby. Hot. Backstage.

Melissa Etheridge: Live and Alone

Wed., Oct. 17, 8 p.m.

The Palace Theatre

Hot: MT can't believe this woman actually has a record contract.

is that your hand or mine?

Audition: Secret Admirer

Fri., Oct. 12

As if giving MT handjobs in the dark actually counts as "secret" anymore.

the b.f.g.

Archaeological Frauds, Myths, and Mysteries: The Cardiff Giant

Fri., Oct. 12, 12 p.m.

Peabody Museum

You know what they say about guys with big feet and the archaeologists who recreate their penises in plaster mold.

a cappella meets melrose place

Mixed Company & The Duke's Men

Sat., Oct. 13, 8:30 and 10:30 p.m.

Berkeley Dining Hall

MT knows that with all the mixing going on in The Duke's Men, those boys don't need anyone else to keep them Company.

not too far

EX!T Players & The S.O.B.'s:

"Yale 300: How Far We've Come..."

Sat., Oct. 13, 8:30 p.m.

Morse Dining Hall

Oct. 2, 1769: 3 ft. toward Nathan Hale's liberating mouth.

Apr. 4, 1865: 6 in. into Robert E. Lee's tightened flanks.

Nov. 29, 1949: 9 ft. onto Harry S. Truman's wire-rimmed glasses.

—This weekend, Goldilocks will be looking for beer pong opponents for her parents, El Fino will be rather busy making plaster molds of his dad's penis, and Fred Meyers will be combing the frats, desperately seeking some play: watch for his fiery privates, then open up and feel the burn.

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