SMACK ZONE

Hammond

It's Thursday night, time for Luberda's weekly vow of sobriety. And though on most weekends I find her passed out in the corner at a party anyway, her parents are here to help her complete her first dry weekend of the year ($500). As for Tran, last week's bet still stands. Need I say more? In a big weekend for my teams, the Packers survive the Ravens ($300) and my Cards hold off Southern Miss ($500). Lastly, St. Louis finishes off Arizona in the NLDS ($500).

Last Week: +$0. Current Balance: $7,800.

Luberda

It's Parents' Weekend and you know what that means: it'll be the first time this semester that Hammond actually remembers the weekend come Monday ($200). Tran, who unfortunately always remembers his weekends (yes, they are that pathetic), will continue in his tradition of bathroom escapades. Now, onto picks. The Bulldogs should rebound over Fordham on Saturday ($400). Expect the Mariners to pull past the Indians ($200). Count on the unstoppable Rams to trounce the Giants in NFL play ($1,000).

Last week: -$100. Current Balance $5,900. Tran

It's Parents' Weekend, so I can't speak ill of my fellow editors. I mean, I shouldn't say that Hammond is a lush who's only been sober twice during the weekends since he's been here. Nor should I be poking fun at Luberda for being, well, poked here and there. So I'll just move on to my bets. After a week off, the Colts will stomp the Raiders ($1,000). FSU blows away the 'canes ($700). Mariners rebound against the Indians to take the series ($500).

Last Week:+$1,300. Current Balance: $7,500. Anna Dolinsky,Guest

What is this bullshit? Who are these people? What happened to the smutty, skanky Smack of yesteryear? Luberda and Hammond may be too busy swapping genital herpes to make real bets and Tran still can't get his little buddy to calm down after Justin Chen sniffed him last weekend, but it's time to get their heads out of each other's asses and make some real bets. Yale licks Fordham ($1,000) like Laakso's momma taught them to and Marshall finally fulfills her horse-and-Heller fantasies ($50).

Week:+$1,300. Current Balance: $7,500.

Back to Sports...