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Smack Zone

Tran

Innocent? I dunno what Luberda is talking about. Ever wonder why those other two keep on "running into each other?" Well, Hammond's drunk and he still can't score with freshmen, so he's gotta go with the next easiest thing, and, you guessed it, that's Luberda. On to my bets: Yale football beats the hell out of the defending champs this week ($500). Braves go to the Series ($500). And because I can't lose to Luberda, OU destroys Baylor ($7,000). Last Week:-$1,300. Current Balance: $6,200.

Luberda

Whoa, what's up with that Dolinsky chick? Why is she casting all of her perversions unto us innocent editors? Besides, the only fantasy Tran has ever acted out was with his fantasy football team. Congrats to Hammond for experiencing his first dry weekend at Yale—without booze, that is. We all know the well's been dry with the K-dogg for quite some time. This weekend, count on the Wildcats to topple Penn State ($400). The Braves will finish off the D-Backs ($300) and men's soccer beats UPenn ($300) Last week: +$1,800. Current Balance $7,700.

Hammond

I can't believe Dolinsky revealed Rachel's little secret. But we all know that herpes has to start somewhere, right Anna? I'm in the office by myself right now, which means that next week Rachel has to keep her pants on and Kevin has to take his hand out of his pants on Thursday night ($500 says neither is successful). The Packers travel to Minnesota and take out the Vikings ($300), and Mariano keeps his streak alive with two more saves ($500). Last Week: +$800. Current Balance: $8,600.

Aaron Lichtig, Guest

There are men, there are boys, and there are me. Yes, there are me. Me always bet on Penn State, so here we go again. Zack Mills destroys NW with 250 yards through the air ($100) and PSU beats the 'Cats by at least seven ($500). Seattle takes the Yankees in seven ($300). Drimmer's hat looks ridonkulous ($1,000). Heller is ridonkulous ($1,000). Randell needs a new sweater ($1,000). I need food ($4,000). Zamiska paints another bad nude ($1,000). Last week:+$1,300. Current balance: $7,500.

Aaron Lichtig is a senior editor for the Herald.

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