minor threats

The Morning After Optimism

Fri., Nov. 2, 7 p.m.

Whitney Humanities Center

"She really liked me...I was great in bed...she'll definitely call me back..."

the mountains of west virginia

All My Sons

Fri., Nov. 2, 7 and 10 p.m.

Off-Broadway Theater

All my sons and all their guns

Were waiting on the truck

Pretty girl comes by,

Unzips her fly

Says, "Bros, I wanna fuck."

butter!

Light Fellowship Information Meeting

Wed., Nov. 7, 4 p.m.

55 Whitney Ave, Rm. 305

Heavy Fellowship information meetings will be held daily at the Doodle from Jan. 1 through Dec. 31.

hat trick

Vanishing Act

Sat., Nov. 3, 8 p.m.

Calhoun Cabaret

Stay away from that freezing cold water, boys.

feathered `friends'

Chicken Trek

Sat., Nov. 3, 1, 3, and 7 p.m.

248 Park St.

These chickens are boldly going where no other poultry have gone before...THE STAXXX.

jewish soundgarden

"Spoonface Steinberg"

Fri., Nov. 2, 8:30 and 11 p.m.

Yale Cabaret

Feel the rhythm while you can, feel the rhythm with your hand—Spoonface Steinberg.

eat paste!

"Picture This!"

Children's art program

Sat., Nov. 3, 10:30 a.m.

BAC

When MT comes knocking on your door, don't buy his story or his collectible artwork.

—For Halloween, Goldilocks dressed up as the `thesis' to El Fino's `antithesis.' Fred Meyers synthesised his bad-ass into a three-way with Hegel and Britney Spears, but when the German asked Fred to `spank my hairy ass one more time,' the music stopped.

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