Stiles

Finally, after three years of humiliatingly large losses, after hours of practicing motion plays on Cross Campus and scouting them in their games, I can tell my grandkids that I, Miles Halliday, did not graduate a loser. I led the Saybrook intramural football team to a hard-fought 6-0 victory to end the three-year dynasty begun by those hated members of the Moose, Stiles. "Wait, Miles, wake up!"

"Who are you?"

"I'm the Moose from Ezra Stiles. You were dreaming, Miles!"

"But Saybrook did finally beat Stiles in intramural football, right?"

"No, silly, Stiles won again. Duh."

"Noooooooooooooooo!"

And so ends another successful season for the Stiles men's football team. Luis "With my catching skills I definitely ain't no" Poza '04 caught the game-winning touchdown, which came off a drive that began with Marc "I'm glad my mom is not in this column" Sorel '04 hauling in an interception after a pass went through the hands of a certain Saybrook receiver with the first initial M.

Solid defensive efforts from Bobby "I am the" Womack '04, Jason Haller "If you hear me" '03, Craig "It looked better than it" Felt '03, Ed "Night train" Pena '02, and Aaron "Cruiser" Goldhamer '03 kept Saybrook from getting on the board.

In other IM news, Ben "Fleet Feet" Lindy '03 managed to lead the non-qualifying teams in men's cross-country, while the women edged into the finals with a third- place finish in the first round.

The Moose wants to take this time to look ahead to the possibilities for Stiles to rise the top of the stinking heap that is the intramural leaderboard. With ice hockey anticipating the premiere of future franchise player Nick "Varsity" Shoumatoff '03 and Max "I skate scarier than I look" Chafkin '04, the winter season should be a fruitful one for the Moose.

(Compiled by a secretary whose father is not Alan Greenspan and whose mother is not Jenna Jameson.)

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