minor threats

Captain's Cove

Fri., Dec. 7, 7 and 9 p.m.

Yale Children's Theater

248 Park St.

MT wonders if...

and MT thought that new scooter was exciting

Berkeley College Orchestra

Sun., Dec. 9, 8 p.m.

Battell Chapel

...it can make it through...

rods and nuts

Christmas Tree Sale

Fri., Dec. 7, 5 p.m.

Marsh Hall

360 Prospect St.

...an entire column...

OH! YES!

Living Out Loud

Sat., Dec. 8, 7 and 10 p.m.

Yale Cabaret

...without a sex joke.

two stars to the right and straight on `til morning

The Undiscovered Country

Fri., Dec. 8, 8 p.m.

Off-Broadway Theater

If she shaved, maybe so many expeditions of cum droplets wouldn't have gotten lost in the undiscovered country of the cooch. Plus, MT wouldn't get hair stuck in its teeth. Next time, MT will just stick it in the mouth. Sex!

wanna FUCMO?

Yale Undergraduate Chamber Music Organization (YUCMO) Inaugural Concert Sat., Dec. 8, 8 p.m.

Sudler Hall, WLH

Nope.

MT would like to thank y'all for a great semester of putting up with our penis fetishes. In other words, El Fino hopes he can continue to memorialize his member in plaster. Without the Deacon, of course. Goldilocks has had a great semester whoring herself around at all Yale frats. (When she wasn't having butt sex with Zander "Butt Sex" Dryer.) Meanwhile, Fred Meyers would like to clear up the mystery of his name: in truth, he is actually "He of the Fiery Crotch, with the Power to Slay Men And Women By the Thousands with his Great Balls of Fire." An old Native American name.

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