Davenport

Ah yes. The DavenSporties. Take men's volleyball, for instance. An hour before game time, Adam "Rio-bound" Litle '03, like a shepherd who had lost his flock, wandered around the courtyard calling out for anyone to play some volleyball. Lo and behold, his minions responded. Out of the mist appeared the ones they simply call the Abdo, the Nogues, the Bettin, the Shelley, and the Duff. To the gym they headed, where Berkeley, that impotent college of cocky schmucks, awaited our challenge. At first we were afraid, we were petrified, but then we realized that we had teammates by our side. We had all our serves to give, and their defense was a sieve. Did you think we'd just lie down and die? Would I really go into so much superfluous detail if we didn't win this epic battle inside the Lanman Center? Good and order had thankfully been restored to the universe.

This story of Davenport success is what they refer to in intellectual circles as a "microcosm." The small victory over Berkeley symbolized the larger picture, in which Davenport consistently wins matches in every sport, even though the odds and refs are heavily stacked against us. This winter will prove to be no exception. We've devised plans to win almost every title in IM sports. For example, rather cunningly, women's basketball plans to mislead all its opponents by losing the first game of the season and feigning weakness, only to bounce back and run the gauntlet of 10 straight wins. Step one accomplished! A hoops, with a new captain, plans on not losing the first six games of the season. B hoops plans on winning a few...come on guys, you can do it. C hoops plans on watching ES and SY kill each other. Women's volleyball plans on repeating as champs. Ice hockey has plans too, but Andrew "I skate at a" Cantor '02 is too cool to tell anyone. Anyway, you get the point: Davenport has big plans. You heard it here first: back to the top we go.

(Compiled by the guy with "Big Plans" for you, if you know what I mean.)

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